So I'm an attached person now I realize ,I hate that about myself ,how do u get unattached and get over the person u were with ? And what's ur opinion on attachment on relationships?
Ugh, yup, I've gotten hung up on straight guys before. Which, as a male, is not fun. At least when it's a straight girl there's always some hope. Best advice I got when this was a serious problem for me: pick some flaws or other of there's and focus on those whenever you find yourself fawning over the person. Everyone's got something - an annoying habit, a physical trait doesn't match your "type," or whatever else. It might seem a little superficial, but if you really need to get unattached it can help a lot.
Thank u I kinda am depressed about the guy who said he wanted to be alone but I guess I just didn't like how he was like in tone getting attached and depressed is dangerous and unhealthy so I wanna get over it
It can be a good thing but then they have control over you in a way, which I don't like. Control over your mind which is a powerful thing. I'll do things and put up with things from people I love that I would never put up with with anyone else.
You could study buddhism for the rest of your life, become a monk. A big part of the ultimate goal is complete unattachment from everything (physical, emotional, aspirational, belief, etc) - because attachment is the root of all suffering. The trouble is even though I genuinely believe that, I can't bring myself to give up everything.. I guess I'm addicted. The thing is to be unattached in the most basic way, it doesnt mean giving something up - it just means not being 'dependant' on it - accept that all things end, breakdown, death.. these are inevitable. Basically just love in the moment, and if tomorrow that love leaves, let it go willingly. People that want to tie someone down are generally not doing it because they love someone, theyre doing it because they are attached to being loved by that person. if you truly love someone, then you must let them go if they are unhappy.
^ This My ex-crush could always get information out of me... probably because im partially just terrible with secrets, but he had a way of just getting me to tell him things, and he would ask me, fully knowing that I would tell him if he pestered long enough. X_X I ended up telling him some pretty... incriminating things that im not proud of >.> I don't think i ever stop beingfully attached, but I get to the point where I'm hanging by a thread
How not to get attached? Hmm.....well I had this problem while I was still in high school, while realizing I was gay but now when I see a cute guy I'm like, he's only a cute guy. I try not to he friends with dudes who I am very attracted to because that could only makes things hard, because some straight guys have no boundaries. When a guy I find very attractive shows up I automatically set the tone for interaction between us; we can be cool at work or school but not friends, no hanging out outside of these environments or a least keep it to once in a "blu" moon. By that I mean once every four to six mouths, untill you think you can handle your boy crush feelings but be careful they can show up at any time, with just a few nice words. Oh yeah, because I had this probpem, once you hear I guy says he likes chicks........he likes chicks. Believe what you hear and back off. Even if you think there's some chance he's into you, just back off. It's not healthy waiting for some " straight" guy to turn gay one day. There are plenty of hot gay dudes out there, enjoy them.
Yeah, I just kind of try and brush them out of my mind. Although focusing on bad aspects does actually help in a weird way after a breakup. But then I worry about it, because then i feel like I'm burning bridges in my mind and that I will probabbly never be able to be around that person again. I think when you turn positiive-ish (loving, attatchy) feelings to negative (focus on flaws, dislike them), it's almost like all of the energy that went into that love you had turns negative, and that can be pretty overpowering I suppose. Like magnets reversing poles...
