When it is okay to tell gay jokes?

[beckyg]

This is interesting. What do you guys think? When is it okay to tell gay jokes? What is acceptable and what is not?

http://www.indegayforum.org/news/show/31506.html

[total mo]

I guess when the person you're joking with is also gay, and both of us are gay. maybe its alright.

[pirateninja]

Gay jokes depend on context. I personally find stereotypes funny, even butch lesbian stereotypes. But there is a fine line between being funny and going too far. Most people don't, thank god. But if some straight guy ended a joke with the word "faggot", or even a gay guy for that matter, if it was used in a demeaning fashion, then that's crossing that line.

I learnt this notion from greatest show of all time, South Park, : either everything's okay to poke fun at, or nothing is. You can poke fun at something and still care about it. We have scouse jokes, cockney jokes and whatnot here in England, but if we as a group refuse to be joked about at all then that isn't equality. Yes, we should have gay jokes, but that doesn't mean they should be used as a weapon.

[Grof142007]

When everyone know that it been done in a joking manner and no one suppose to get hurt.

[davo-man]

Well the article definately was an interesting read, thanks for that Becky. Personally, I objected only to the second one, because any joke that ends with "Faggot" is not likely to be very funny or appropriate. However, I am much more open with the other two. As the writer says, it definately depends on the context, however I believe the intent is more important. For instance, in the first one, the joke depends on the generalisation that gay men like Broadway. The author believes this might be offensive because it reinforces stereotypes, however look at The Nanny, an entire show revolving around Jewish stereotype jokes. And still a very funny show. Or Beverley Hillbillies, a show that used Hillbilly humour to great effect. I don't think the use of a generalisation in humour is cause for offense. The offense comes when the speaker uses generalisations in a derogatory manner, for instance "Go back to Broadway, faggots". (I'll admit, not a very imaginative insult).

In the final example given, I don't think it was offensive, just not all that funny.

[Jim1454]

I think everyone needs to be able to laugh at themselves. I'm OK with gay humour. But obviously it depends on how it's told, who is telling it, and who the audience is. I absolutely LOVE Cathy Griffin - I think she's very funny, and she talks about 'her gays' and I find it hilarious.

My bf and I just have to laugh at some of the things we do or say now. Complimenting each other on our shoes, or shirts... it seems so surreal at times!

And my ex wife and I joke quite a bit about it. In that case, it's either laugh or cry... so we choose to laugh about stuff. Had I been straight we would have had a wonderful life together, but that simply wasn't to be. We'll still have a wonderful life together, just now as friends instead of spouses.

[beckyg]

When I was first joined PFLAG and was still in the "uncomfortable stage" I remember sitting and listening to a very butch lesbian talking about going to a lesbian event. She said her truck broke down. She needed something to fix it and joked that it was strange that in a room full of dykes nobody had any tools. The room just roared with laughter. Now THAT was funny. I think my uncomfortableness melted away after that.

[Extreme26]

I have a friend who I say is gay and he absolutely hates it. Myself and my other gay friend find it funny just how much he hates it...not very nice I suppose but what cha gonna do!

[Joey]

Hmm, I'm gonna agree with pirateninja on this one... south park is the great teacher after all; and I love a good gay joke, or any joke for that matter. My friends and I did gay jokes before they knew I was gay, and even so afterwards; it just goes to show that I'm still the same person.
Oh, and as to the title of the thread, my dad thinks that all the time is a good time to say a gay joke... they're usually hilarious so I don't care, and neither do the moms (my older brother's girlfriend's moms, they're so awesome)

[Tim]

Like Holly said, it's all on context. If someone is doing it particularly to offend, I can and will explode at them. My family is the exception, they made a LOT before I came out, they're trying so hard to tone it down, and I admire them for that. I don't mind most gay jokes, but some can be quite offending. :3

[Trumpetplyer23]

I agree with Pirateninja as well, the context of the joke is what makes it offensive or humorous.

[interstella]

I am the kind of guy who gets offended when someone says "[insert thing here] is so gay", so I hate gay jokes. And I absolutely loathe and detest the word "f*ggot" which, unfortunately, is used far too often at my school

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

Originally Posted by interstella

I am the kind of guy who gets offended when someone says "[insert thing here] is so gay", so I hate gay jokes.

That's not a gay joke, it's use of the word "gay" as an insult. They're totally different.

[Louise]

I whole heartedly agree with Pirateninja, nobody should take themselves too seriously to the point that they can no longer laugh. If you are willing to laugh at others you must also laugh at yourself.

It goes without saying of course that the fine line between jokes and derogatory remarks hidden behing 'humour' should not be crossed. Humour is often used to say nasty and hurtfull things, often comments/jokes need to be taken in the spirit they are said and not out of context.

[Beebo]

Originally Posted by pirateninja

Gay jokes depend on context. I personally find stereotypes funny, even butch lesbian stereotypes. But there is a fine line between being funny and going too far. Most people don't, thank god. But if some straight guy ended a joke with the word "faggot", or even a gay guy for that matter, if it was used in a demeaning fashion, then that's crossing that line.

I learnt this notion from greatest show of all time, South Park, : either everything's okay to poke fun at, or nothing is. You can poke fun at something and still care about it. We have scouse jokes, cockney jokes and whatnot here in England, but if we as a group refuse to be joked about at all then that isn't equality. Yes, we should have gay jokes, but that doesn't mean they should be used as a weapon.

well said

[Kenko]

I agree with pirateninja, it all depends on context. If they're light hearted and meant in jest they are fine, and everyone has to be able to laugh at themselves to be able to laugh at other people. She mentioned South Park, another example is Family Guy. That show makes fun of everyone as well.

[LOVEjames]

The way Holly put it is amazing.

[Maddy]

Add me to the list of people who agree with Holly. If a joke is meant to be offensive, I find it offensive, and if it isn't, I don't. It's usually pretty clear whether someone's trying to offend or not.

[musicgirl112233]

I also agree with Holly!!

[Tortillamaster]

i think its hilarious when a straight friend of mine talks about a girl they like and i respond with "thats so gay" or in typical redneck voice ( like the ones in my school) "whatever fag"