Hey everyone, I'm Joe and im pretty new to the forums. Anyways a lil background on me just so u noe. Um im 17, gay not out to anyone and live in WA Perth. I'm really thinkin about coming out to some close friends. Ok so of course this is about a guy lol. I feel so lame and like a stupid lil school girl when saying all this but here goes. There is this really cute guy who works in Coles (supermarket) at my local shopping centre. I've noticed him and he's noticed me. We have never spoken but just had mutual eye contact. I really think that there is something there but of course i cant b sure. Anyway I'd see him pretty frequently but that was it. Then when i started uni earlier this year he was catching the same bus as me. What a co-in-ki-dink huh? Once again mutual eye contact and glances at eachother from across the bus (how gay am I? lol). Ok so i never had the guts to say anything or even try to make a move. Then all of a sudden he didnt catch the bus anymore and i though i missed my chance :bang: I found myself developing a stupid crush on him. You noe; thinking bout him, wishing i could just talk to him. So yer i'd see him occasionally at Coles and I'd always play the scenario out in my hed about what if i went into his aisle and he served me Would i have the guts to mayb make my intentions clear? (I'll just make this clear I'm interested in having a boyfriend and a realtionship) However i never ended up gettin to actually be served by him. I tried to forget about him u noe tellin myself that he's not gay so y bother and all that but i had a dream about him (not that sort of dream) :icon_twis Anyway in this dream i actually spoke to him and asked him out and for some reason his name was Ryan in the dream. Today i go there on my own and I'm in the aisle across from his and again furtive glances. I wanna at least noe his name but he duzznt have a name tag. Then I notice that on the screens of each aisle they have the name of the person serving you. I take a look at his and bam guess what... his name is Ryan lol. Freaky huh? So yer i find myself acting like a total fool. Feeling realli silly about my crush but I'm really contemplating just goign to talk to him and ask him out or something. If he isnt gay or isnt interested then yer i'm embarrassed but at least i tried rite? Wow i went on too long. Ok so yer wot do u guys think is he best course of action? Try something or just get over it?
Dude, you wouldnt believe the amount of crushes I've had on guys who's name I dont even know. I drove myself crazy thinking about them, thinking about different sexual senarios and 'what could be'. Then one day i decided I would act upon my feelings and find out whether my crush was gay or not. I'm not trying to discourage you from confronting him, but if things did go bad how much would it effect you? Do you visit that supermarket often? Does he have any connections to your friends or family etc. If the worst that could happen is that he rejects you and you're embarrased for about 30 seconds then i say go for it, you never know what could come from it. On a side note, if he does reject you, obviously you will be disapointed but dont be discouraged, there are plenty of fish in the seas Good luck and I hope all goes well. Dave
I'm not exactly the one to give advices on crushes... still, try to de-objectify him. You like him because he's cute, you don't even know... perhaps he's a <insert here the thing you hate the most>. So... try to meet him, just ask him something, try to start a conversation, perhaps invite him to a college party, and try to get to know him... then if he's gay, then you could end up in a pretty good relationship, if he's not, you could end with a good friend... who knows. Oh, and you say you are not out... I wouldn't suggest comming out to a complete stranger first... perhaps there are friends that can give you a little support and to whom you can talk to. I know the members of the board can be of great support, but there are some things that are better discussed in person... and sadly (VERY SADLY) we are not face to face, but with this pieces of technology between us.
I definately agree with goratrix on this one, dont let a stranger be the first person you come out to. Just telling someone can be a stressful situation. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like telling a stranger in person.
I agree that coming out to a complete stranger as your first person isn't the best idea. I didn't actually give it thought because I read you're other post 'The closet door is opening' before this one, So I automatically assumed you were coming out to your friends first. If this isn't the case, I agree with Goratrix. Dave
Hey guyz. Ur absolutely right yer. I'm just gonna take it slow. I'll deal with coming out to my friends and all that first because i think i am ready to do that and then I'll focus on snagging myself a bf lol. And ur rite goatrix he culd b a complete jerk lol Ah well once im redy to talk to him i'll find out newayz. Thx heaps.
Can you just get him to serve you in the store? Maybe ask him if they stock something, or where something is? You'll get to hear him speak and in indication of his manners, which can be completely different (and worse) than you expect. We had a guy as a temp at work a few months ago - he was cute, blond and looked quite gentle and maybe nieve. Although young enough to be my son, he certainly caught my eye and occupied my thoughts for a couple of days..... Then I had cause to speak to him in the course of work. He was loud, brash and ladish - and sounded more like he belonged in a football crowd or in a noisy pub. And this was in an office environment! I didn't think about him any more - other than wondering how someone so attractive can he such an arsehole! He only worked with us for a fortnight, because apparently he was useless.
