I came out to 3 people today! I'm on a roll! yay!!! So I told one of my friends, and she said shes ok with it... The thing is, while I was talking to her after school, she was like "Well who knows...your still young and you may change later on" >.< To be honest, I would rather have this than her going "EWW YOUR GAY!?!? EWW" But it still puts a knot in my stomach. I am not going to change and I always be gay. I love men, plain and simple, and I was at the point in my life where I was finally liking who I am, and now my friend thinks I will "change" eventually. She was joking around, saying she will find me a "slut" We always joke like that, but I wonder if she thinks that if I have one relationship with a girl, or have sex once with a girl, I will change. I don't know...any of you have friend like this? Any advice? Thanks.
Oh yeah..... When I figured out I was different at about 13-14, I told myself the same thing: "This will go away when I get older" It didn't....I just more miserable and more in denial and more addicted to alcohol and drugs. We like who we like, and some of us like all of one or both, or a few, or whatever...the truth sets us free. xo Darya
Tell her, "I'm sure that'll happen when you decide to become a lesbian." ... of course, if she actually turns out to be a lesbian, then you'll be in a predicament.
My mum is like that. she thinks its just a phase, but i love man too they are so damn hot. i wouldnt like to be str8 after what i know now. I think the only advice i could give is just give her time to accept it and she might come around. im still waiting for my mum to after 4 years so yeah who knows everyones different. anyway good luck and congrats on coming out to more people
A lot of people are like that, but they (most of the time) eventually accept that it isn't just a phase, and hopefully they don't react badly to that.
My mum is like that, she thinks I'm going through a phase. I think the only way to get past that is to just live your life, and they'll hopefully see the light eventually.
Yeah, some people have told me that I may change later in life. The only answer is, "Well, maybe I will, but I can't predict that, all I can say is that right now I am gay."
Sexuality is to a certain extent flexible but only in that as we aquire experience we learn what we like and what we don't like but if you are attracted to boys (for boys) or girls (for girls) this is highly unlikely to change... as you all know. Most people who talk about 'phases' or 'growing out' of it are simply people who are uninformed about sexuality. Maybe you need to get some resources for your friend so that she can learn more about sexuality and what it means to you and your life. It doesn't sound as if she meant to be nasty about it, she just seems misinformed to me. For all you guys who said your mums think the same thing it is down to you to educate your mums, get them some books from the library or some leaflets from your local Pflag support group (Becky can help you all there). Mums spouting 'phase', 'grow out of it' etc are still in denial and need some gentle nudging in the right direction. Don't go at them like a bull in a china shop with the usual sighing and rolling of eyes typical to teenagers, get them some resources so that they can see for themselves that this is for real.
A lot of people say this - which annoys me. How many people say "It's a phase" when their friend or son or daughter goes out with someone of the opposite sex?? NONE ( which is funny as I actually think my straight-period might have been a "phase" :lol: ) I think that there is the denial thing going on - but also, which I've never understood, the idea that they know more about your sexuality than you do!! Since when did someone else become an expert on you?? But tbh I think that whilst you shouldn't make a big issue of it and have a go at her about it or anything, if the fact that you are gay continues and is reiterated, then she will eventually come to see that it isn't a phase. I think that you only have to worry when the "It's a phase" response carries on for too long. A lot of LGBT people have this response to themselves, so it's only natural I suppose that straight people have that reaction to us too. It seems to be an idea current in our society at the moment. And whilst I personally do believe that sexuality can be fluid over time with certain people, no part of this is more real than the other, so there are no phases until you get to your "true" sexuality, just different periods in your life. But most people are probably settled I think. Give her time, and only get worried and annoyed about it if she continues to "phase" you. (and suggest that her heterosexuality is a phase...:lol: )
Yeah she wasn't mean about it. She is just a really good friend and very nice, and it just makes it uncomfortable when she thinks I will change. I think I will just give it time. If she keeps it on, I will talk to her about. She does seem more misinformed than being nasty about it. Thanks for the help guys!
Yeah, I really hate that. Something similar happened to me, well kinda. I have a friend and everyone questions his sexuality. Well I was with this girl (not big on not straightness) and she was like, "He'll be okay if he would just get with a girl.." I got kinda mad and was all "What is that supposed to mean? If he's gay, then he's gonna be no matter who he is with.'' yeah. gets on my nerves.
She'll understand! It may not be tomorrow, or next week, but one day, she'll wake up and hear the music and realize the truth!
