:tears: *Dad on phone* "Man we was suppose to cancel inusrance today" ( he didnt hear me say this) " I'm on the phone" "I Don't care" *Dad hit me in shoulder* ( it like buddy punches u on the shoulder) it Did not hurt so i went silence from there. just trying to contol my emotions Im feeling sooo furious that i almost gave up on life but i know so many people would have be sadden by that. so once he got off the phone he aplogize but he said to NEVER DISRESPECT HIM LIKE THAT. and he ask me what was so imporant for me to tell him. " i tell u later" ( if i would have tried to talk i would have started bawling and proably crahsed) So like 2mins from the house i LOST IT Those GOT DAM TEARS WOULDNT STAY AWAY. i couldnt even stop them from falling ( DAMIT IT DOING IT NOW) so we got home he went in the house. i stay in the car and cried :tears: once i got my emotions under control i went inside to lay down. he starting asking stuff but in ingored it. he just keep talking about NOT DISRepecting him here what i remeber staring with me " I respect you as a human but never will i repect you as my father" "well if u cant respecat as a father then u can do what ur sister did and move out" "..." ( that really upset me cause i would if i :tears: could but i cant:tears: :tears: :tears: almost lost it again) he then goes on to tell me that respecting him is doing what i'm told i told him i do that it just feel that i haven o opion what so ever he then tell me that once day ill have children and i can do that same things that upset me even more cause i would never treat my childeren like that. i wanted to treated as a fucking equal but that not going happen. i mean i make as many sarfacies as he does and i do everthing he tells me i eat the way he wants:tears: breath drive sleep talk every fucking thing i just sometimes want to do things my way but i never can so doing what he says is repspecting him i then ask him do you respect me he said yes i aplogize to you for hitting you and it will never happen again. i tried saying something else but i couldnt even breathe right iwas gasping for air so much cause i was so upset so he told me to calm down and will talk about it later only thing is there nothing to talk about cause i have no fucking opinion and it suck it susck soooo bad GUYS WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO DO I AT MY LIMIT PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!:tears: :tears:
Sounds like you'll just have to get over it or move out. Maybe it was just magnified because you were already upset. Have you been stressed lately? That can cause you to break under the pressure of things that normally wouldn't bother you.
Well The thing is Last month i paid for insurance and gas for like 2week i had 650 and after i got done paying insurance i was down to 45$ were paying inursance on a car that dont work and from the looks of it my dad going to get me to pay it again this month. why should even go to work just to pay for the inusrance on a car I DONT USE. also i think it could of been i was straving and still am... i should go eat but im refusing cause i think it will give that man pleasure( i know stupid but ill eventually give in when he goes to bed)
Oh god hon! He had no right! But I understand. My dad...well he has the final say in things around here...his word is law. So I know what you feel. You aren't allowed to give your opinion...because his is law right? There is no respect either. I'm a girl...well you knew that by reading under my avatar. But recently my dad and I got into a "discussion" (no hitting involved, he would never hit me(never not even out of joking)...just some yelling and me eventually in tears and desprately wanting to disappear forever) pretty much about why one of the house chores wasn't done and how it was a big thing that he had to do a load of laundry. He flipped out. And basically made me feel low and that my only role in life was to be a housemaid. (He's sexist I found out) That thats what women are for. You sound like you are in a tight spot like myself. I'm going to tell you the best thing to do is get money for school and move into school dorms and go to school. (I would say Military but i'm not sure that would be good for ya) Thats what I'm doing. As for the car...could you calmly approach him about it? say something like "Hey Dad...i'm not using this car so why don't we sell it so I don't have to pay insurance on it?" You can send me a PM if you like. I'm here. (*hug*)
I'm going to have to side with your dad. If he's on the phone and you start talking to him, and then when he clearly tells you that he's on the phone (as in he's ON THE PHONE, talking to somebody else, already engaged in a different conversation.) Instead of acknowledging the fact that he was on the phone and respect his personal space, you tell him that you don't care? That in itself was completely out of line on your part, not to say that it was okay for your dad to hit you. But, honestly, I think you're over reacting a bit. This whole incident seemed to be blown way out of proportion. I seriously doubt that this incident alone could've caused so much tension and resulting drama. I'm guesing there is some mounting unresolved issue weighing on both of you? I would suggest that you try talking to him, rationally, with your emotions under control. Try suppressing any outbursts and try to stay level headed. Let him know what's bothering you, and ask him if anything is bothering him. Communication. :-\
I agree with oct877. You need to sit down with your dad and talk to him respectfully and remind him that as you are paying some of the bills you also would like to have your word about what happens and a minimum of respect. Your dad is expecting you to behave like a man and take responsabilities ie; get a job and pay your way which is what you have done, now it is time for him to recognise this and treat you as an equal. You need to point this out to him calmly and without emotion. I know this is easy to say but if you repeat in your mind what you have to say in the quite of your room and manage to get to a stage where you can say the words out loud without crying you have a better chance of saying them to your dad. What is happening to you is normal. You are 18, part of you is child, part of you is man. You obviously have some unresolved issues with your dad (as do most 18 year olds) and this is causing you to be overly sensitive and the part of you which is a man, who works and pays the bills is demanding to be recognised. First things first, calm down and get your emotions in control, take a look at this situation again and you will see that you were wrong to talk to your dad when he was already on the phone and he was wrong to hit you. Two wrongs don't make a right but they do make sense in this context. If you can, go and see your dad tonight and ask him if you can talk about this and tell him how you feel and what you want from him and then be open to listen to what he has to say. ALL relationships depend on compromise and communication, it can't be a one way street. If you want your dad to listen to you and take on board what you say you have to listen to what he says and take it on board. Compromise and communication are the key words to think about here.
I'm wondering why you're being so dramatic about it. It seemed like nothing really happened. And the post is misleading, I came in here insanely worried. "My father hit me.." - I was googling places to go in your hometown. It may have been a little over the top on my part, but still. I really think you're making a big deal out of this. You go so emotional because he gave you a 'buddy punch' on the shoulder, and you clearly specified that it did. not. hurt. There's obviously something going on other than this, you and your father have a tightly wound relationship. There's always something that goes on between a gay son and a father because the father will either feel one of three things. 1) That he failed as a father. 2) That you failed as a son. Or 3) He won't care at all and support you. Or any combination. But like the previous few people said, you need to sit him down and talk to him about it. Nothing good ever happens from not being honest.
I think you are over acting. I do not see problem. I understand you are upset but I do not think you should be. All thing is very different in Japan but having respect for parent is very important here. I think maybe you should talk with him. Maybe try explaining you are easy upset recent.
Thanks for all the advice guys Im going to think what i need to say then i going to approach him on it. <3
Good luck. But yeah, usually I'll wait for someone who's on the phone to hang up then I can talk without them being distracted. I don't like it when people talking to me while I'm on the phone, especially if it's something important.
really i am pissed by reading or hearing kids complain about their parents whom loves them but they claim they don't liek their parents for some trivial reason. the parents who feed them, send them to school, put clothes on their backs, makes them live in their house... where i come from, many kids wish they had a father to ...to... to...idk...PISS THEM OFF, or annoy them. and you are disrispectful! :dry: no matter what, that is not something u tell someone who brought you into this world. for all you know he could have taken ur mom out to dinner when she was pregnant and said "hey honey, put on ur favourite little black dress and celibrate cuz ur having an abortian" and this not only goes to you, but to everyone else on EC who has issues with their parents for reasons as such. I could have said the same thing to my mother when she looked at me and said outright "I hate you" but i can't hate her. how will that benifit me? and she still takes care of me....annoy the shit out of me but she is the reason i am not malnurished soo...give thanks. :dry:
