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Came out to my brother in law

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Tarpan, Jul 7, 2013.

  1. Tarpan

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    The other night I was talking to my brother in law on facebook and decided to tell him I'm gay because he's close family to me. I balled and cried after I asked him to keep it a secret because he's the first I've ever told that I'm gay. He was being very supportive. He said to meet him at a McDonalds and me and him would talk about it. So I drive to Mcdonalds at like 7am and wait for about 3hrs and he never showed up. Later that day, I go to his house and he acted like we never had the conversation. I didn't talk to him about it because my sister and his friend was there, so I went back home. I'm afraid he might tell my sister or one of my other friends.
     
  2. MixedNutz

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    Wow that's a real shitty thing to do.

    You should find a chance to question him about it. Also get reassurance that it will stay between you too.

    Good luck. Let us know how it goes. (*hug*)
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! Welcome to EC.

    First off, congrats on taking the step to come out. Although you feel afraid that he might out you to your sister, and friends, there might be a chance that he won't say anything. I think him being very supportive when you told him, is a good sign to take away from it.

    Have you tried asking him why he hasn't show up in the meantime? If you haven't, maybe try talking with him again. Maybe re-iterate that he is the first person to know, and that you would like him to keep it between the two of you for now. (*hug*)
     
  4. Dave5432

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    What you did took courage. I'm nowhere near there yet and I'm older than you. I think Mirko has some good advice.
     
  5. resu

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    Sometimes people chicken out when they overthink things, and maybe he felt uncomfortable. Also, since it was 7 AM, maybe he couldn't find an excuse to tell his wife why he has to go out so early.

    Like Mirko said, tell him this was a hard decision for you and you put a lot of trust in him. Try to arrange a meeting at a normal time, or find something reason to meet that won't seem out of the ordinary to your sister or others.
     
  6. Sadepeura

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    Congratulations for coming out to your first person! It's a big step. :slight_smile:

    Try not to worry too much about him telling other people. I recommend that you try and talk to him in person about it again, just as Mirko suggested. It would be good for both of you.

    When you're ready you can also talk to your sister about it and then you don't have to worry about him telling her anymore.

    Good luck!
     
  7. Tarpan

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    Thank you guys for your advice :grin:

    I have a close friend I've been wanting to tell but I've been too scared, but I think I'm going to tell her and ask if she would come talk to my brother in law with me. I'm tired of being scared and trying to hide who I am.