As of last Sunday I came out to my parents and have been making an effort to casually come out to friends over the past few weeks. I am curious what has life after being out been like for others? What was different for you? And how did this impact your relationships or the quality of your relationships with friends? I sort of feel like I am living in a dream state.. Like I've been carrying around anxiety and stress my whole life and I am just realizing that most of that can be chocked up to me not being comfortable or open/honest about my sexuality. I can't believe I am now just truly "living" or so it seems... What have others experiences been?
I completely understand what you mean! Being out is very surreal for me too. A year ago I wouldn't even consider the possibility and now I'm out and proud What has mostly changed for me is how much better I feel with myself... I can be myself without censoring my moves etc. It's also made me more accepting of others,like I would like to be accepted... My relationship with my best friend in the world has changed greatly... We can now be more open with each other(mostly because I feel comfortable doing so) and we're better than ever... It's a little weird with another friend of mine who's completely avoiding the subject and is a bit weird :/ And mum is in denial... But being honest with yourself is the greatest feeling in the world... It's worth all the trouble, past,present or future
I also went through this change. The past like six months I have been a depressed kid and debating suicide. I finally decided to just come out to the people who got the worst of depressed me and now im happy.
Well done for making that big step, and I'm sure that although you haven't told everyone you do feel a sense of relief ? I only fully came out last year and I am 44, most people knew but it was my father and older Nephew who didn't and since telling them I feel that it has helped me accept my sexuality 100% and that the weight of hiding has been lifted. I may find things hard and life difficult but I am so glad I am fully out of the closet
Coming out has been some of the best times I've had lately! After I told my first person, I was ultimately relieved, and it helped all of my anxiety that had been built up the last 9 years. Once I told my first person, I was ecstatic, and it lasted awhile. But it wore off, and I had to tell someone else! So, I got courageous and decided to tell my long time crush I liked guys! I don't know what made me want to, but I even told him I liked him, but I know nothing is going to happen, and luckily, he said he was ok with it! That definitely made my day much better, and started a string of loving to tell people the truth! So what I'm trying to say is I've never been happier than when I tell a new person I'm gay. It has helped me in so many ways emotionally and mentally! I wouldn't trade myself for the world! And it has definitely improved my relationships with the people I've told. One person reacted a little wary at first, but by the end of the conversation, he said "I kind of thought so." Ultimately, it is a really great feeling, and I can't wait to tell my tenth person!
Liberating. That's what I'd call my experience. I'm out to pretty much all of the people I see on a semi-regular basis - friends, family, etc. Still haven't come out to some family and some friends that I rarely see anymore, but it's not like I'm hiding anything, I just haven't had the chance to talk to them yet. Before I did, I felt alienated and depressed and didn't feel like I could be my true self with my friends so I stopped hanging out as much cause I didn't want to 'slip up' and them find out. Same goes for my parents, and I was 'acting straight'. Not that anything you do defines your sexuality, but we all know those particular stereotypes that people assume to be gay, in some way (ex: clothes, hair styles, blah blah). When I'd visit my parents, I'd make sure I wasn't going to "give it away" and rarely talked because again, I didn't want to slip up. Now I feel awesome. I love who I am again, whereas before I was ashamed and uncomfortable to be completely honest and open. I feel like I can talk about anything with my friends and family again, just because if something about a girl or anything comes up it is not a big deal. My mom stopped asking about boys and I stopped having to divert or come up with lies. Its just SO MUCH BETTER. There have definitely been those that didn't take it so well, but oh well. There will always be people who disapprove of your choices or opinions or whatever else you're doing with your life. Like you said, I feel like the past two years I'm able to breathe easier and just live openly and honestly, and its incredible P.S. whoops for being long
I love this. I can't believe that straight people live like this everyday and I never knew what I was missing. There is so much more clarity in my thoughts and actions. I finally feel like I can be my true self, although I didn't realize how much I had been hiding!! Thanks for the posts all. Look forward to hearing more...
I have recently come out at 42, and I can echo every positive positive experience that people wrote above. My friends have all been very accepting, even my friend who is very religiously conservative. I think they are still adjusting to the news, as it's a very big change for them as well. I'm dating someone now, and they're simply not sure how to ask me about her or what to say. But I have a feeling that they'll come around once they get used to it. --Zoe
Im straight acting (not sure i'm fooling anyone though) so i dont know what it feels like to be free yet, All i know is that being straight acting is fairly stressful. I feel as if i am lying everyday. EC gives me a feeling close to what you are describing though.
