1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How to tell College coach you're questioning

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheGreenToad5, Jul 7, 2013.

  1. Hello, well I will be a sophomore this fall and I play soccer at a D3 college. After away the games our teams showers. Not weird at all for an all straight team. Well, I'm questioning my sexuality from straight to gay or maybe bi. Should I tell my coach I'm questioning or should I wait until I know. He is a nice guy, I can talk to him very easy, and I trust him. So should I tell him?
    Thanks
     
  2. Diego89

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2013
    Messages:
    307
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mexico
    I don't see why you should tell him specially since you are not sure about it. And this applies not only for your coach but anyone, now if what you need is some advice or just someone to listen to you, I would rather tell a friend. Good luck.
     
  3. Gen

    Gen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Nowhere
    Do you feel uncomfortable showering with them personally?

    If not then I wouldn't feel a need to tell him, at least only for that reason. Gender specific facilities aren't as much about attraction as much as biological familiarity. You aren't suddenly at risk of throwing yourself on them because you are gay. You can still tell him. You just shouldn't feel obligated too.
     
  4. Thank you!! and Gen last year I never felt uncomfortable besides the fact that it was my first time showering with other males. So that factor was uncomfortable, but soon it became normal.
     
    #4 TheGreenToad5, Jul 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 7, 2013
  5. LD579

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2013
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Canada
    It depends, really. What is accomplished by telling him, and how do you think he'd react? I know the possible answers to this question, but consider them rhetorical for you to think about this.

    If he's not tolerant, he could just kick you off the team with a snap of his fingers. With that said, that doesn't necessarily mean he's homophobic. I obviously don't know this coach, and you do to some extent, so you'd be able to make a more informed choice than me.

    If he has a little rainbow sticker or something that says 'Safe space' outside his office, those would, in theory, indicate that he's accepting or would at least try to be.

    Do you think you wouldn't be able to talk to others about this? Maybe some pro-LGBT+ rights people that you know, if any?



    With all that said, I think sticking around these forums would also be helpful for you. Read some threads and posts, and you'll be able to find some clarity in yourself to some degree, I'm sure. By the way, hello and welcome to EC =)
     
  6. Thanks Luthan. Well, I'm a Resident Advisor on campus and planned on talking to our Resident Life person who is in our schools LBGT group Safe Spaces. I don't know him that well. Last year people keep saying f*g and the n word at practice and he told us to stop. Is that a good sign?
     
  7. LD579

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2013
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Canada
    That's a super great sign. I assume you're referring to your coach. =) If you're referring to the other person, then that's good, too, actually. There'd be nothing wrong with going up to this other person and talking to him, even though you don't know him that well. Relationships of all kinds (friendships, student-teacher relationships, therapist-patient relationships...) have to start from somewhere, and I think you'd only gain a lot from seeing this Resident Life person and seeing how he can possibly help you. =) I wish you the best.