Hi All, Just wanted to get some thoughts on some comments my brother said to me in the heat of the moment of a massive argument between myself, my mother & my brother surrounding my sexuality. I first came out as Bisexual to my brother, but since that time realised that I identify with lesbian more. So, this next time I saw my brother, he asked me for the second time "Is it a phase?" (yes I know, cliché). I responded with "I find your question offensive, of course it's not a phase". He then proceeded to swear at me angrily because of the fact I thought his question was offensive to me. He also made statements such as: "Maybe you're just doing this because you never had a boyfriend"; "You used to be attracted to (celebrity a,b,c) when you were younger, don't pretend that you weren't"; "Maybe you haven't found the right man yet" (which came from my mother). ...and the biggest point of my brother's argument was: "You haven't physically been with a woman yet, how can you go round telling everyone you're a lesbian? What happens when you finally do, you don't like it? All those people you told will now think you're an idiot and you'll be embarrassed" So do you think that perhaps that he's the one who's actually embarrassed by this revelation of mine? I don't understand what he's getting at by pointing out that I used to be attracted to males (mostly celebrities at that, not in real life....it was very rare that I was) Thoughts?
Your brother is embarrassed and maybe scared and frantically trying to put the genie back in the bottle. I'd advise ignoring him, including not wasting time taking offense at him. You are as you are and whether he likes that or not is simply of infinite unimportance. My 2c worth, Todd
It could have been in the heat of the moment that he said these things and maybe doesn't mean it. I agree with Todd. Just ignore him. It does sound like he's embarrassed to no fault of your own. He should be proud that his sister had the guts to tell him that, and support you, but unfortunately he's not and for lack of a better word ( sorry if this offends) he's being an asshole and deserves a good slap on the head.
By the sounds of it, he is pretty spooked by the idea. He's probably just slightly confused/mildly homophobic. I think it is ignorance. He clearly doesn't see being gay as having the ability to be in a long term relationship with the same sex. His only 'exposure' to it might just be celebrities and 'barsexuals' who may go through phases. I think 'phases' can occur, as I think sexuality is fluid, but I would really hate to have it said to my face in a derogatory manner... It depends how old you are. If you're relatively young, it may be seen as just the experimentation phase of teenagers (this is the exact reason why I do not want to come out to my family at this time). I would try to explain to him that it is just like his heterosexuality, just like he expects to live in a long term relationship/marriage later in his life. It's hard to get through to some people, but he is your brother
