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The Group: Supportive but with an Unfortunate Egg

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SeaMist, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. SeaMist

    Regular Member

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    Some people
    I'm a very introverted, quiet person, but this past year, I managed to find a group of people at my school who shared similar interests as I did, and we became one large, buzzing social group of fifteen. In this group is my closest friends, some people I like and would like to know better/talk to more, and some other people who annoy me. All of my closest friends know that I'm a lesbian, and I'd like the others to know as well. However, two things are preventing me from coming out to them right now. One is that I had a short lived, minor relationship with a boy in the group, which was the catalyst for me realizing that I'm not straight. The second is that there are a few fairly religious people who generally see LGBT people as different from theirselves, if you know what I mean. The girl who often is at the core of this group is one of them. A while back, something about the LGBT community came up, and her response was something about her knowing that there was no choice, but still thinking that it was a sin/not right. The only time I can imagine coming out to this group is casually in conversation, and there is a very, very low probability of their ever being a suitable conversation when she isn't there. This girl already really only tolerates mand it there is not escape from her, whether she wants it or not. I'm not sure what to conclude from this. I don't want to be treated differently by my friends, and while the people who would treat me differently are not really my friends, they are directly connected to the people whose existence I currently depend on. I would love to be completely out at school, but I'm not quite ready for that, I don't think. But I am ready for my group to know. Plus, I feel like one of the guys in my group is questioning his sexuality, and while I wouldn't feel comfortable saying anything directly to him, coming out and the reactions [which will be mostly positive, I'm very sure] it would bring might be a self-affirming thing for him, and a relief for me. Where does this put me? I'm starting high school next year, and am still young, yet I feel ready. I just don't want to not have a home in the Latin room, where we all hang out during lunch. I don't want to have to navigate the waters of the first quarter with only one friend for guidance, as all of my other close friends are moving. I don't know what to do.
     
  2. john1b1

    john1b1 Guest

    Don't let what other people think get in the way of being who you are. If you're going to come out to someone who might be intolerant, the best thing you can do is to own your sexuality. Be confident, don't let her get to you.

    A lot of intolerant people will change their mind about LGBT people if they get to know one. Ignorance breeds hate; that is to say, people fear what they don't understand. Helping your intolerant friend to understand your sexuality could do her worlds of good.