So, I have this guy in my class whom I really don't like at all. He competes with me at anything, and can't stand when I beat him at anything (which I do almost all the time). He knows that I'm gay, and that I'm not really fully out, but last month (when I was almost fully closeted), he outed me to a bunch of super-homophobic people. My friend heard, and told me earlier. Even worse, he's bi, and has told only me, and held me to secrecy. I've not really ever liked him, but now I detest him. I refuse to out him, but I don't know what to do. Should I confront him?
Bitches gonna' bitch,that I can say. What do you mean by "confront him" (tell him what you feel,beat him up....?)
Wow, he sounds like a complete tool. I'm afraid that I can't think of a way to get him to stop but well done for not sinking to his level. He's done something terrible by outing you before you were ready and as tempting as it might be, it's still not ok to do it back. Be proud of the fact you're the better man!(*hug*). Perhaps you should confront him about it, at least try and get his reasons for outing you. It sounds like it is just petty jealousy (You might have got better scores on a test so he gets back at you by outing you) but it could be something else. Good luck
If you care about him, then sure, ask him why he did it. But if you don't like him, then I would assume he's not a close friend or anything. If that's the case, I don't see the point in "confronting him" because however he answers you, it isn't going to change anything. It's awful that he's done that to you, but sometimes it's just best to take the high road. If I had to take a wager for the reason he did it, it would be that the whole thing was a little close to home and he was scared of the fact he might be bisexual so outed you to take the attention away from him. Sounds like he just panicked and told them. Hold your head up and walk away would be my advice
I'm seeing my year coordinator when the term resumes. He's a complete dick, and it wasn't out of any innocent reason. He told the most homophobic people in my year, which isn't an accident under any circumstances.
This is a tough situation, but what I would suggest is not outing him. It is true that you're the better man here by not sinking to his level. Not sure if this is the best advice ever but what I would do is confront him and give him a piece of your mind. Ask him why he did it, tell him it's not and never is okay to out someone, and ask how he would feel if anyone outed him (could be taken as a threat the way you say it, so be cautious). If confronting him does nothing and he continues to out you behind your back / be mean to you / try to infuriate you I would either ignore him to show that he's not getting to you (therefore not giving him more control bullying-wise) or to seek help from a school staff member.
Maybe he likes you and is trying to piss you off to get you to notice him. I've seen people do really crazy stuff when they like someone who doesn't like them. If he jumps to your rescue when the homophobic kids try and mess with you. You know he's trying to play you.
Dude, don't let anyone hold your sexuality over your head. I'm glad you've chosen not to out him! If I were you, I'd work on smoking him in anything and everything, make him as jealous as possible and then act like him outing you is no big deal. just my 2ยข
I think if there is a trusted supervisor who you feel comfortable with to discuss these matters, that may be a definite way. However, the key thing here is that he's doing this to make you suffer. I mean, the most that will ever bring is awkwardness and discomfort to you. I suggest you stay on the high road. If they ask you, you don't have to answer them. You can tell them it's none of their business regardless of the gender you prefer, and that you are not obligated to answer those questions. Let them make of it, but you can't be bothered with him. Honestly, if you let him see you panic and distressed, you're giving him what he wants. I myself told a guy I shouldn't have, and it was in a remarkably similar situation where he was a very narcissistic individual and publicly told people and myself that he was better than me. The difference is that I didn't give a damn and he got angry and tried to out me to one of my best friends. I lucked out, because she already knew and then without me knowing reported him as "spreading gossip and inciting people to bully" me. Regardless of what this person's intentions are, he is wrong in telling people information you trusted to him. I was suggest to cut ties with him and just stay away from him.
