I just want to start with I love you dearly even though I can be a bitch sometimes. I know how against this you are so I really just want you to accept me and continue to love me. I tried to hide, fight, and deny it for a long time but I'm just starting to accept myself for who I am. A big part of my depression as a teen was confusion about this which is why I slept around a lot. I was just trying to prove to myself that it couldn't be true. If I was with the right guy then something would click, but it never did. Then I met Nick. I think I loved the idea of love more than any feelings towards him. He gave me freedom and I did love that. I never really felt anything with him or any other guy. This most recent time the lure of freedom and having a family hooked me in. A big part of my depression now is hiding myself. I don't want to hide anymore. It's such a big weight on my shoulders having this secret. Cory has known for about three weeks. Part of me thinks he hasn't said anything to you because you'd talk to me about it but I'm really not sure if he has or not. If he hasn't, that's really showing his love for me. Allison told me he thinks it's cool. He still loves me. It's always been girls. My very first crush was Erin. I messed around with two girls in high school. And then there was Madison. She helped me discover who I am. . We had sex when we were drunk and I started having feelings for her. When I'd go home I felt so sad like I was leaving something behind. She is married so I distanced myself and made sure we'd never mess around again. She wanted to mess around when we went to the beach but we didn't. I can honestly say I don't have any feelings towards men, sexually or romantically. It's just woman for me. I'm a lesbian. That's why I get so upset and we go around and around when we get into the gay marriage debate. There have been so many times I wanted to say "What about me? I'm gay. Should I not be able to have what you and dad have" I never do because I'm scared of what will happen if I do. I don't want to lose your love or for things to change between us. I don't understand how we as Christians can pick and choose what we live by from the bible. I don't think God would hate me for being me when he created me. This isn't a choice for me, I've tried to choose otherwise and it just doesn't work like that, at least not for me.