1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Coming Out & Advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BabyKoalas, Jul 11, 2013.

  1. BabyKoalas

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi guys.

    Hope you're all well. To cut the the point, my friend has a degree in media and works in filming quite a bit. I've been speaking to her about the possibility of doing a project with her next month. We want to make a YouTube video about my personal coming out experience, as well as talking to her about how she, as my friend, felt about it and possibly involving some of my other friends too. I think we're planning to also address a lot of the common insecurities/fears that us gays feel before coming out, as well as pointing people in the right direction for help and support.

    This site is brilliant and offers such incredible support, but I also thought it might be nice for people to be able to see a real life friendly face (I hope my face is kind of friendly haha) of someone that has come through the other side of it and has accepted being gay and is now trying to navigate through the world of homosexuality.

    With that in mind, what sort of questions/worries do you guys who are struggling with everything (by the way, have a hug) have running through your mind/wish you could talk to someone about?

    Jem

    x x x
     
  2. JBWat

    JBWat Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2013
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This isn't exactly about coming out, but it's related, because it has to do with the fallout of coming out, and it's been on my mind lately.

    A couple of weeks ago, a friend was discussing her wedding plans, and what kind of ceremony she wanted. She expressed that she would like to include some pagan rituals, if her fiancé was ok with it (he's pretty cool about that stuff), but then she realized that if she did this, then her parents would probably boycott the wedding, because they're conservative Christians who wouldn't approve.

    This sparked a sad revelation in my own head: if I ever get married, my family won't be there to see it, as they are of a similar persuasion as my friend's parents. </3 I'm only out to some of my friends, so my parents are still unaware of my sexuality. Even if they would still speak to me after they found out, I can't expect them to be at my wedding because they will undoubtedly see that as condoning a sin.

    Anyway, it's a bit of a bit of a bummer, but it has been on my mind as of late, and it's something, perhaps, that people with less-than-accepting families may not think of when they decide to come out.

    Thanks for reading! I feel a little better after typing it out. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Good luck with your project! I'm sure it'll be great. :slight_smile:
     
  3. BabyKoalas

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    No need to thank me for reading. Isn't that what we're all here for? To listen to each other, and help where we can :slight_smile:

    I definitely think you have a point and the fact that for some people, it may not be something they consider. But I also I think for many with religious families it can actually make coming out a hell of a lot harder.

    I was fortunate as my family aren't religious and my parents, although it was a huge shock to them, took it as well as they could.

    I actually have a friend with a religious family. Her dad is actually a lay reader in her local church, so that's pretty high up there in terms of levels of religious-ness (I like to make up new words). Her brother came out as gay and I know at first her dad was really conflicted and wasn't happy at all. But in time he came to accept it, and her brother went on to have a civil ceremony and their dad went along and it was all hunky dory. I think the point I'm trying to make here is that, although you might have it set in your mind how a person is going to react to you telling them, you really can never be 100% sure. And even if they freak out entirely at the beginning, there is a very real possibility that they will come to accept it in time.

    After all, we're all individuals and it would be unfair to say that a religious person is going to react in a certain way just because of their religion. Their religion is certainly a large part of them, but it isn't ALL they are, in the same way being gay isn't all we are. They may be more accepting than you think :slight_smile: Good luck for when you do decide to come out to them, I hope it goes well for you!

    And if you ever want to chat, feel free to drop me a message.

    P.S. Alabama is such a fun word to say. Alabama. Alabama. Alabama. Ahhhh. :slight_smile:
     
  4. srslywtf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2013
    Messages:
    780
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    Lol you stole my idea!

    Where in aus are you? assuming you are, given the koala reference...
     
  5. BabyKoalas

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Haha! Or was it you who stole mine :wink:

    I'm not from Australia actually, I wish I was. I'm from the UK. I just happened to lack inspiration for a user name when I joined but also be watching a nature programme at the same time with some very cute baby koalas on...

    Sorry if I'm a disappointment ;P

    x x x
     
  6. gavguy

    gavguy Guest

    Hi Jem Welcome

    It takes guts and courage to come out, but making a Youtube video is something which is amazing, not only is it good for your self-esteem it also gives other people hope and courage to come out.
    What you have going around in your head is something which you think at the time is unique to yourself but it's something which all of us go through the fear of rejection and not knowing what way to turn and who to turn to.
    You feel trapped and cannot see nowhere out, but thank goodness for sites like EC.
    And it's only with support from each other, that we will manage to achieve our goals in life.
    Good luck with the video and thank you for thinking about other people in making the video.
     
  7. BabyKoalas

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Gavin! (I think that's your name, I've seen you posted on other threads :slight_smile:)

    That's what I hope will come from it. That people will get to see it and perhaps not feel so alone in what they're going through and to see that things can get better when you do decide to come out.

    Thanks for wishing me luck and for your support! Hopefully I can make something that will make a difference, as cheesy as it sounds, in a small way :slight_smile:

    x x x
     
  8. Randy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,784
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    The idea of a YouTube video sounds pretty darn great, I absolutely love the idea.

    Um...one worry that you might want to hit on is one's worry of getting financially cut off and kicked out of the house when one comes out as a young adolescent. Also you might want to hit on the fact that what if one's parents are overly conservative and not take the news particularly well (but not to the point that they kick the adolescent out).

    These are two worries that I have and others have well as I've seen perusing this site).

    This idea is pretty damn awesome, I look forward to the video :slight_smile:
     
  9. BabyKoalas

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Firstly, I like that you like cats. Secondly, I'm glad you think it's a good idea. It's something I've been thinking about for a while but felt too self conscious to do. But then I figured that I just don't care and it would be totally worth it in the end. So I'm going for it! Those are definitely good points and I'm sure for young teens are the things they worry about most when contemplating coming out. Thanks for your input :slight_smile:

    x x x