My whole life I've been known as a girl, and a year and a half ago i came out as bisexual. But my whole life, I've felt like a guy. I put it at the back of my head and tried forgetting about it, saying that it didn't matter and I'd grow out of it, but let's face it, that's not happening. I know I'm a guy and I look at myself as one. I just dress very girly. I came out to 5 of my friends so far. One of them is also FTM. I know it's important to come out to my mom soon, because she deserves to know, as well as the money i need for clothes and a binder and such, and her talking to the school guidance counceler is necessary. I can't exactly transition without telling her, and if I tried she'd notice and as me about it. I'm hoping to tell her by the end of July. Which i don't know what to tell her. I would love if I went back to school as a guy. But i'm scared as shit. I have a good amount of friends, most of which will accept me. But everyone else. My softball team (idk what i plan on doing about softball), acquantinces in class, people like that. They'll know it's me, i mean even if I ask teachers to call me Jake (my names Jackie/Jaclyn), my last name won't change, and I'm sure they're will be physical similarities, even though my face isn't feminine and probably could easily look like a guys. I'm scared of what people will say, and think, and what I'll have to say back. How do I go about this? And any advice in general would be helpful too. Thanks.
While I don't really know any transgender people personally it is probably the same feeling as fully coming out as gay, bi etc. meaning that you can't care what people think about you, you have to take the risk, and in the process you may loose "friends" but you will strengthen the ones with those who accept you While it is natural for people to be shocked at first, just say that you are still the same person that you used to be just with a different sex, there are more then enough regulations in place to insure that the transition of transgendered people, especially transgendered people go smoothly, make sure to keep the school informed of the change as they can take measures in order to help you, such as announce that any bulling/teasing based on your new gender be considered harassment as well as announce which bathroom you will be typically be using during the transition (as i believe it takes a while for the hormones to take effect) etc. considering that i don't know anyone in your situation i'm afraid i can't be of more help...:/... i wish you the best
There really is no one size fits all advice. I've recently had some really happy milestones but my transition is coming along slow all things considered. So I feel kind of like the blind leading the blind. There are areas where I'm a woman full time and areas where I still go back to being a guy. It sounds like no matter what happens though you have some good friends That's one thing I'm finding out is really important. I mean sometimes you have to pick and choose, especially if some friends just won't accept the new you, but keep the ones that have your back no matter what. Can any of them help you when you tell your mom? If you can pull off just going back to school as a guy, you'll know you can. But if you don't think you can, you sure don't have to. Your transition is your transition. Be smart and be you. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. If you go throughout your whole high school living as a woman it won't make you any less of a man. But I heard a song lyric I really like lately that's good to mention here too, to balance out what I just said, "never let your fear decide your fate". As long as you are smart you should be okay even if you have to take some risks. As far as what people will say and think I can give better advice here. So whenever I have to do something that scares me - and I've been doing a lot more of that over the last year than ever before - I just take a deep breath and ask myself this question. What is probably going to happen? Like actually. See that question does two things. It first chases away all the unrealistic fears. And the realistic ones that stick around are way easier to deal with when you are expecting them. So I get by with a lot more confidence that way. Most of the hard part of transition is just people having a hard time letting go of the person they thought you were. It's really emotionally hard. Way harder than any of the stuff you're probably scared of. I mean really one day yes a stranger might give you a funny look. When that actually happens it will seem like such a small deal you will wonder why you were ever scared. All they can do is look, you know? Just I guess the best advice I can give is, transition is all about authenticity. What I mean is don't ask yourself what a man would do in this or that situation. Just ask yourself what feels right to you. Because you are a man underneath. And if you do that you'll be confident and the real you will just kinda start to shine through after a while. And eventually other people won't be able to help but see him ---------- Post added 11th Jul 2013 at 09:49 PM ---------- It so is exactly like that!
