So I drafted a coming out letter to my parents that I'm planning to put into a word document and then having a rainbow border around the page... anyway: Could y'all review it and voice your opinion on it? I put more time and effort into it so it'll sound more focused. Dear Mother and Father, If you are reading this then I am already off at college. Before reading this, please do your best to get comfortable and remain comfortable even while reading this. Also, please try to keep an open mind while you’re reading this. I say this because you guys will probably be reading the most important thing that will be coming from me. An amount of years ago, right when I started becoming a teenager, I became obsessed with looking at penises on the family computer. I did one night after dinner and dad caught me. I tried so hard to hide it that I turned of the computer and went to go watch TV in y’all’s room. A couple minutes passed by and you guys approached me while I was watching TV and wanted to talk with me about something. I assumed that it was about the incident that happened about half an hour ago or so, and I was correct. Anyway, all I can recall is that y’all flat out asked me, “Are you a gay?” and I responded “no.” I wish I said something else besides a definitive no, that way this could probably be easier than it is right now. The truth is that I am gay. And no, this is not a phase, this is not something that I have been molded into, and this is certainly not a cause of evil demons posessing me. This is not anyone’s fault, I was born this way and I know it is a blessing that I was born this way. I am still your loving son that will always continue you to love y’all no matter the circumstances. And I know y’all will adore and love me also no matter the circumstances (at least I hope). You see, my last two years High School and right before I started my Freshmen year of college, I was honestly scared of coming out when I came to terms with myself. I got this feeling that a strong essence of homophobia that was present in this household and I also got this feeling that since y’all (especially mom) are religious, it kind of struck fear into me that maybe the news of me being gay would not be to y’all’s liking. I know that I can’t change the beliefs of people, but maybe this news will alter the way that you guys view the LGBTQQAIP (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Questioning, Queer, Aesexual, Intersex, Pansexual) community into a positive view. Mom -- What kind of put me off of breaking the news to you is that you’re so adamant that you are so religious. The fact that you’re so religious instilled a thought into my mind that you don’t take a liking to homosexuals because God doesn’t take a liking to homosexuals (or that’s what everybody thinks). There are many other things but what I mentioned is kind of the main reason. I would like you to know that even though I’m gay, I still believe in God and still try to live a good life as a Catholic. If I meet a guy later in life, don’t fight it, just appreciate the fact that I found someone i can love just as much as you love dad. Dad -- To be honest, I don’t know why I have not told you yet. I guess it’s because you and mom talk all the time and I got the feeling that if I told you then you would tell mom. I don’t know. As you guys can tell this has been very tough on me and I know it probably will be even tougher on you guys to accept this fact. But if I can speculate, y’all will just be happy that I am happy. After all, all you guys want is just for your kids to be happy. Mom, you told me that a couple of years ago, I hope it still rings true today. I’m sorry that you’ll be reading this as opposed to me telling you, I just could not find the right time nor the time that I’m taking to tell you all of the things that are included in this letter. One thing I can assure you is that I have not released any of this onto Facebook, so nobody knows this outside of our immediate family. The only person that knows of this is [brother] and while he found this news to be kind of surprising, he still loves and accepts me as a younger brother should. I hope y’all can do the same as my loving parents. If you have any questions about anything, you can always email me at whatever email you have. Calling me would probably result in me answering any questions with less words than I intend. Love you always Your loving and caring son, Randall
I laughed at the penis part xD Maybe it should be more mature in that part? Also there are some grammar errors,But its a draft anways...
I would say to revise and potentially scrap the entire first paragraph and replace it with a single line... "I have something very important to say (or "that needs to be said"), so please get comfortable and keep an open mind as you read this." i would also strike any references to family computer when referring to looking up peni as it may seem to your apparently religious mother that you tainted the house (replace it with internet as it depersonalizes it) and while ya'll is good dialectic speech i believe your parents would feel more secure knowing that you know not to write that in a letter, especially since you are going off to college and dialectic speech greatly degrades concision as well as effects your grammar. Take a close look at the mom section and i think for clarity "I couldn't find the right words to tell you in person so i decided to write you a letter" is a better line... my thoughts would be to condense while getting the same message across... Contrary to what Zam said, i believe that your maturity is on par but your grammar does need some work, lucky for you this is a draft, Note that these are only suggestions and come from a place of trying to help if i come across as arrogant or snobby i am sincerely sorry for that...
Yeah lol maybe I should have de-personalized it but I did that last night before I went to bed (something in me told me to do this before I got to a deep sleep) so I just jotted all my thoughts down, which I thought was gonna be more but I guess not *shrugs* oh well... I was never good at grammar so a plethora of grammar mistakes would probably be evident and it would make sense as to why they're there. And nah, you don't come off as arrogant or snobby, these are great suggestions!!
I in general liked it - I'd go along with some of the other comments on the use of y'all all over the place - while it might be how you talk, it's generally not appropriate for written communication. I don't agree with My Simple Song on scrapping the first paragraph - I like it. A bit of a gentle introduction is warranted here. Also, I'd take out the part about viewing penises on the family computer (or any other computer) if I were you. No parent likes to find out that their kid is looking at porn
I'm glad you liked it and I have took out the numerous y'all and the occasional y'all's replaced them with you guys and you both. I haven't scrapped the first paragraph, I still kept the "If you are reading this..." bit but I did condense it into the sentence that was suggested. I can see why that would be suggested to be taken out; however, they did eventually find out as I included that. Maybe I should rewrite that sentence to something where I don't have to include the word "obsessed."
