Excuse the big cheesy metaphor, this is actually rather serious, or i feel like it is where i'm at in the process. I keep trying to edge my way out, several people have told are more than fine with it and my female friends want me to be out completely so we can hang out more often without their parent fearing for their daughters virtue or whatever. This always makes me feel confident, before I talk to my family. Why is it my mom who is the most open supportive person on the planet has no problem with anybody, until it's her own son coming (out) to her for help/(with his sexuality). She has told me that for me it's a choice; like I am the one exception, has told me that I'm just being lazy and don't want to chase girls (because impressing guys is so much easier) and that dreaded phrase; it's just a phase. When she even nonchalantly recommended having sex with a girl to prove to myself i'm straight, even though that would just make me more confused, not to mention waste a lot of time making someone fall in love with me just to have sex and realize something I'm getting more sure of each day. The only reason I'm not sure is i have no physical or romantic proof in the way of dates or kissing, just crushes and feelings. My ex-step-dad, also known as the man who raised me simply told me "if your gay your gay, suck some dick and get over it" which is good advice, but his cut-and-dry personality, as much as it helped me realize i wasn't bi, also stopped helping after a few days. I won't even get into my conglommoration of siblings, the semi-homophobic brother, the sister who has two gay roommates and the sister who thinks i'm doing it because it's becoming the cool thing to do and "should have known before I was sixteen" :bang: tl;dr, mom is super supportive of everyone until I told her I was gay/questioning, everyone else is weird too Anyone wanna take a swing at it?
Alot of what you said comes in my head when thinking of how to come out to parents I think in my situation it better they don't know yet. I know there will be time where i have to tell them I just dread that time. I don't want people to think differently of me because I am something i cannot help being. I know not really answering your question but I think it quite hard to answer. One of my parents are the same as long as it not their own kids they fine with it.
How long ago did you tell your mother? Think about how long it took you to come to terms with it; it's so likely that she just needs a bit of time to get her head around it as well. Don't try to broach the subject with her for a while, but if she says anything to you about it, politely but firmly tell her that you are sure of your feelings and they aren't going to change. It's pretty likely that once that's carried on for long enough and she's got used to it, she will believe you and respect your sexuality. (*hug*)
Ask your mother, did you needed to have sex with a man to know you are attracted to them... Did you need to have sex with women to know you are not attracted to them Also tell her that no one changes boys for girl not matter how bad you are at dating... I mean, awkard nerdy teenagers dont start liking guys jsut because they cannot get laid... Im straight guy, i am 22 years old, i havent have sex , i havent even kissed a girl for that matter yet i have never stopped lusting over women, and guys are still very unattractive to me. Lack of dating skills could make someone comform with less than what they really want, but they always comform with people of the gender theynlike... They dont change orientation, is not like playing some pc game and changing it from normal to easy, i mean common! :bang:
Thank you guys for the support! I took your advice, and my mom replied honestly of how she was after the first divorce *ahem*, so thats where she's founded the belief of a choice, then told me she's so adamantly against it for me because if she could write out my life she would have left out all the struggles I've already faced, so doesn't see why I'M adding one for myself smh. I understand her perspective now, but I just don't know if it's true accaptance towards me or the same facade where she says its great, then turns around and tells the rest of the people I've told It's just because I'm lazy and don't want to try for girls. Hopefully she'll come around, if not, I'll be in college in two years anyway, maybe a long term boyfriend at the table in thanksgiving would make it more real for her, idk
Well, if she insists explain her that the reason why " you are adding one by yourself" its because you dont have a choice, except for supressing your orientation,dating girls and being so unhappy that it ends being more a struggle than the potential struggles of just being yourself and dating a guy you love.
