The closet door is opening

Good luck with coming out, i hope it goes well for you

My advice would be to try and lead into the topic natural instead of instantly springing it upon her. One that i used was saying 'would you still love me if.....' and go through a whole range of things then finally asking 'would you still love me if i was gay'. Its only a suggestion, but i think that its easier to come out if the topic is already being talked about.

There isnt a huge amount of advice to give, as only you know the situation and person you are coming out to. Just remember that if you decide at the last minute to back out, or that it isnt the right time you can always take another shot.

Again, good luck and let us know how it goes

Dave

 

I've found it pretty difficult to lead into the topic naturally, and I think that i am pretty good at changing subjects on a conversation. Someone on this forum said to me that it's very important the way you say it. If you make a big deal about it, like: 'I have something extremely important to tell you, but you must promise on your soul and the soul of you puppy that you will never ever for no reason at all tell anyone'... that would probably get a reaction as if it were a big deal. And it will be harder to overcome.

If you just say: 'hey, i'm gay', at least in my experience, people just say: oh, cool... are you happy? nothing will change between us...

Of course, everyone is different, and this only proved right with three people... so i wouldn't know...

And quoting dave: good luck and let us know how it goes

 

Yup, like goratrix said, if you make a big deal out of it, then the person you are coming out to will probably make a big deal out of it. However, just out of nowhere saying 'I'm gay' can sometimes catch people off their guard (not sure whether thats a good or bad thing).

Of course, you may want the person to make a big deal out of it. If it's the first person you tell you will probably want to talk to them about issues etc, and if they dismiss your sexuality as no big deal, it can be a bit of a let down.

The main thing is to try not to get too worried about what the other person's reaction will be, and just 'go with the flow'.

Dave

 

I'm not so keen on that one... it seems like it trivialises what you're talking about. I mean you start off being silly (one assumes) and then get serious and it just doesn't feel right to me.

And I assume you'd end up using negative stuff like, "Would you still love me if I ate babies?" Of course that particular example is funny but being gay gets equated with enough negative stuff that I think it's a good idea for all of us to think twice about doing it ourselves.

And so what you're saying is that you're really, really gay, huh? :icon_bigg

 

Well... I wasn't suggesting you star being silly. I just was suggesting you shouldn't do the whole: 'I need to tell you a super secret that only three people on the world know about, and that if you should tell anyone I won't talk to you anymore, and use the pics I have of you for voodoo and burn your house while I eat <insert the name of his/her pet>' I meant that you should be like: Hey, I'm gay. And I'm serious, it's not a joke.

Or perhaps: Luke, I am your father!... ... ... *waits for laughter* *silence* *awkwardly long silence*. Well... perhaps something like: Hey, Timmy (I like that name, dunno why... perhaps because of southpark),

I need to talk to you... I think I owe you at least this much. I am gay, and I am sorry I couldn't find the strength to tell you sooner... I just needed to come to terms with it by myself. I should add that you had the ability of cheering me up while nothing else could, and I am very much tahnkful for that. Also, I want you to know that this doesn't change me at all. I am still you friend, and I hope you'll remain mine.

You might add someting like: It's not a big deal, I've been gay all my life and that didn't affected our friendship, the only difference now Is that I finally found the strength, and I feel that I can trust you will understand that this doesn't define me, it's just another part of who I am.

And then, if you friends are anything like mines: And now I hope we can go have an orgy! *still waits for that laughter...**gets angry and runs away crying*

Oh, and BTW: I consider myself gay... but I wouldn't spend a penny on clothes If I hadn't to. I guess that makes me a non-cliché gay... I'd very much rather spend all my money in GamesWorkshop Miniatures, or the latest release by White Wolf Game Studio, or save for the alienware I want (I take donations!!! I need to rise 7000 U$D!!!)

 

Well done sir!