I've felt like a guy my whole life, and recently told 5 of my closest friends. I'm really scared of coming out to my mom, she's accepting of this kind of thing as far as I know, since she's okay with my gay cousin, thinks it's terrible to treat people badly because of this type of thing, and tries to understand that one of my friends is FTM. The reason I'm mainly scared is that I'm adopted. My mom picked me because she wanted a girl, since I have a brother. I feel like I'll disappoint her. She won't have the daughter to buy the wedding dress for or prom dress or share jewelry with. And since my father's gone (although she has a boyfriend) and my brother is doing nothing with his life, I feel like I'm expected of high things. I also expect high things of myself, but I would hate to disappoint my mom in the fact that I'm not a girl. I really want to tell her soon though, because in order to get the money to buy guy clothes and a binder and such, and tell the school guidance counceler that I want my teachers to consider me a guy, I need to tell her. And I can't keep living like this, it's killing me. I don't know how to tell her and I'm scared. I don't want to write a letter, I know many people do that but I don't want to.
You sound a lot like me! I'm not adopted, but I'm FTM and I have a gay cousin whom my mom is okay with. Sure, when your mom adopted you, she wanted a girl, but now, she loves you for who you are, not the gender you identify as. Your mom is going to love you whether you have red hair or blue skin. I came out to my parents a few months ago, and I was really nervous. One of the things that hurt my mom the most was that I didn't talk about it with her sooner. She knew something was up since 5th grade, but she didn't bring it up and it took me more than 19 years to do so. Yeah, she cried. I cried. We're both nervous about the future, but she was so supportive. Even through all the hurt I caused her by not talking to her sooner and by talking to other people first, she really showed me how much she loves me and cares about me. If she's even the slightest bit supportive, I'd really recommend telling her sooner than later. It's something I really regret.
