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Should I use a letter to come out when I still live with my parents?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Matty1994, Jul 13, 2013.

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  1. Matty1994

    Matty1994
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    Hi there guys, new to this site and this will be my first post :slight_smile:
    Basically I wanted to know if a letter would be appropriate considering I still actually live in the same house as my family (I'm only planning on telling my mum at the moment), it just seems a bit weird doing it that way but I don't think I have the confidence to do it face to face :/
    Also if it were you how would you go about giving it to someone? My plan is to leave it in my mums room but I'm not sure if I should be in the house or out of the house and let her text or ring me when she's read it? But then my dad could find it first, which would be a disaster!
    :bang: please help
     
    #1 Matty1994, Jul 13, 2013
  2. FluffyKinz

    FluffyKinz
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    I think a letter is appropriate! That way you can fully let out alll of your feelings, without having to worry about being cut off mid sentence. Or if they do not take it well, they would still have time to cool off and talk to you later on in person. Give it to your mom first. Put it some place she would see it. If you would rather her read the letter alone then wait till she is asleep and slip it under the bedroom door.
     
    #2 FluffyKinz, Jul 13, 2013
  3. shamrockmut93

    shamrockmut93 Guest

    I wanted to do this myself, but my friends shamed me into doing it in person, which was really awkward and badly timed, but it went fine none the less. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with a letter. That way, you can say everything that you want to say without the shock factor of the situation to trip you up, and personally, I think coming out can be just as sincere in writing as in person, just as long as it's not in a text message.
     
    #3 shamrockmut93, Jul 13, 2013
  4. Matty1994

    Matty1994
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    Thanks for both your replies, really helped me see the advantages of using a letter especially since I don't know how she'll react!
     
    #4 Matty1994, Jul 13, 2013
  5. biggayguy

    biggayguy
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    Would your dad be suspicious if mum got a letter in the mail addressed to her alone? You could do it that way if he didn't make a big fuss about it. Forget it! There's to much risk that he would get the letter first. My parents were divorced and live in separate states. I chose to send letters rather than come out by phone. I do hope it works out for you.
     
    #5 biggayguy, Jul 13, 2013
  6. GayTeen

    GayTeen
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    I ended up writing a letter before summer. Then I threw it away. I got scared. I'm glad I threw it away, but I still don't know how to come out! Urgh!
     
    #6 GayTeen, Jul 13, 2013
  7. GArchi1992

    GArchi1992
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    Just wanted to say that I don't really think it matters whether you use a letter or not. Just do it the way you feel most comfortable. A letter is a good way to get everything out and it allows you to say it all without being interrupted. Just do whatever you feel is right and everything will be fine! Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #7 GArchi1992, Jul 14, 2013
  8. Matty1994

    Matty1994
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    That's kind of how I'm feeling, I have it all written out and I don't know if it is gonna be the best way or if I even have the nerves to give it to her!

    ---------- Post added 14th Jul 2013 at 09:24 PM ----------
    Thanks :slight_smile: The only problem with my letter is that I say too much, it kind of rambles on a bit!
     
    #8 Matty1994, Jul 14, 2013
  9. sammy1

    sammy1
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    Thats what i was thinking of doing and mailing it to the house oneday because u can make a letter perfect and u can edit it anyway u need and i like the idea of writing a letter better than sitting them down and talking to them because they cant inturrupt u in a letter and u can use a letter to explain everything to help them understand you
     
    #9 sammy1, Jul 14, 2013
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