i currently live in a small town with my boyfriend and i have been seeing him for almost a year, we started off strong and i thought that the relationship had stayed strong, but little did i know that he was second guessing everything all the time and now im so in love that i dont want to loose him at all, i know that if he needs to leave or do what ever it is that he needs to do i will let him so that he can be happy, but how would i go about letting go and picking the pieces of my heart up off the floor again? I have been hurt many times before some by choice and other times i was hurt by force which has taken away my confidence in men and honestly the only reason i saw something in my man now to give him the chance is that he sat down next to a friend of mine and i had had some liquid courage... and because of that i now have someone in my life that i love and would rather not replace unless i totally had to.... we have talked and we have discussed moving together to see if we could be happy together in a larger area and he said that would be an idea, the only thing is i want to wait till end of december time so that i can get another semester of free college out of the way, otherwise i have to pay. but i am also willing to make that move and go somewhere tomorrow if i have to.... any advice guys... oh yeah today is my first day on here.
hey hidden. welcome to ec! i think you should have a talk with your boyfriend as to where your relationship stands before going any further. if he seems to have any doubts about you, i think you need to help him squash them and show that you really are there for him. he could have been hurt before like you and might feel wary about going any deeper with another person. all i can really say is show him what a great boyfriend you can be and take life as it comes. whatever happens happens. if this wasnt meant to be, then theres someone better out there waiting for his turn at you. hope this helps!
you should talk to him about it. it would be good for him to know that you are truely there for him and that he means so much to you. if things do go to mush then just know that there will be someone else inthe world looking for you. they might be near or they might not be at all as things could be alright with you and your man also welcome to EC and i hope you enjoy your stay.
I admit, im a cynic. is the only reason you two are together is because you love him because he sat at your table? or are there reasons that are deeper? i dont mean to be overly pessimistic or want to break you two up, but these are the types of questions that i ask if i think im in a serious relationship. good luck
no its not the only reason that i love him, i love him for who he is and the person that i have become because of him and where the relationship may go with him in my life, i dont want to loose him at all, he is currently my world and i would be lost in the fog without him. he treats me the way no one has and its wonderful when we just sit around and cuddle or watch a movie....
Not sure I'm reading your post correctly. If I may sum up - "I have a boyfriend, I'm really happy, nothing's really wrong. How do I handle it when it all goes to hell?" Um, how about working to make sure it doesn't? Oh, and "liquid courage"? You don't need that feather to fly, Dumbo. Lex
well when im drunk i find it easier to talk to guys and there is more to the story than everything is ok and what do i do when it goes wrong.... he right now seems to be contimplating leaving to find himself or because there are other things going on such as family issues pulling him in different directions which i understand is important i was there at one point in time but i dont know what to do about all of it.... things will be fine one minute and then he is thinking about leaving the next... i want to know how to talk to him better and understand him without putting in my 2 cents
sry! forgot to welcome you to EC!!! i guess another way of looking at this is: does he seem ready for a serious relationship? if there is alot going on, he may not feel that with everything going on, a relationship is something he cannot afford to continue (time, energy, thought, money, etc.) Family is important and he may not be totally ready to make the decision between family and you. Do you feel he is mature enough for that?
Hey Welcome to ec You're from michigan -> what area? (just curious ) From what you wrote, it sounds like you and your bf are doing pretty great. I don't think you need to worry about all the what-ifs and whys right now, just enjoy what you've got and make it last. Moving in together is a big step - talk it over and make sure you're both on the same wavelength about this before getting into it deeper. If he's second guessing your relationship all the time, all you can do is wait for a hard time and stick it out for him to prove to him that you're there for him. Other than that, there's not much you can do but be there any time for him.
he seems mature enough and stable most of the time but there are times that i question whether or not he is truely vested in the relationship but we talk it out usually and find out its just fear of uncertainty i think, most everyone has those fears when they start off in a relationship thats going further than anyone really expected. the best im doing right now is taking it day by day and hoping for the best.... and he knows i love him and would do anything for him if i can...
