Omigoodness... Ok. My girlfriend and her family are like strict Christians....but my girlfriend decided to be with me and God, too (without family knowing of course). And EVERY SINGLE Sunday is hell for me, because THEN she thinks about crap with God and rethinks our relationship... I'm so happy with her and everything, and if we were to be seperated I would just crash. But dealing with this EVERY Sunday just drags me down. We were planning to like kiss this friday at our school dance, but now she just called it off because of religion crap!!! I'm so pissed/depressed.... How do I deal with this easier??
Comprimise, I think. She has to respect your views as well as making you respect hers. At the moment it seems a little bit of an unequal balance. She appears to be rather dominant of who gets their way in these sorts of situations so you need to make it clear that you have the right to your say too, and that being expected to put up with all her religious stuff every single sunday when there doesn't seem to be a second end to the bargain isn't very fair. Don't be hard on her, after all you still have to uphold your end of things and being hard would make you a hypocrite. Just make it clear that it's getting frustrating and you would like for things to be toned down and made fairer.
i think you reeeeally need to talk to her. explain how youre feeling - you love being with her and respect her beliefs, but its not fair for her to keep changing the cards. it sounds to me like shes struggling with her decision to go against her families beliefs. i dont really know anything about the church...is it possible there are organisations to help her deal with being both christian and lesbian/bi??? hope it works out ok,
Well, we did actually make a promise before we had got together: that religion would not come between us. She actually made me promise that (because I kept asking her if she was SURE with this, because she feels so strong about her religion...) I did promise. She did, too. She felt strong about her religion, but she told me that she loved me too and wanted to be with me. Sometimes I think about leaving her and trying to move on somehow, but I'm afraid I'll hurt her if I do that. It just seems that everyday her feelings change. She loves me. She loves God. She loves me. She loves God. It tortures me so much and I know it's not really fair to me. But everytime I talk to her, it's like I'm talking to a different person each time. Scenario 1: Girlfriend: "I'm sorry about the other day. I was being stupid. I still love you." Me: "Yeah, it made me sad but that's ok. Love you too." Scenario 2: Girlfriend: "Hey, I have to talk to you about something." Me: "Yes?" Girlfriend: "We can't kiss on friday because of God." (<---- She didn't ACTUALLY say that, but it was close...) Me: (my mind: WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? She TOLD me she would kiss me!!! This is not cool! PISSED!!!) O....... Girlfriend: Yep. So whats up? *conversation carries on with me being silent pretty much the whole time while she just acts normal* I CAN'T TAKE IT! Goodness......
Maybe you need to talk to her about the specifics of her beliefs. Does she believe her relationship with you is wrong? That God disapproves? That it's sinful? Why does she (not)believe that? Or is it that she's afraid of her Church's teachings/views? These questions are very important in sorting out this dichotomy in her mind, otherwise she'll be thinking in doublethink forever.
Oh, I forgot to mention this... Everytime I do try to talk to her, her usual replies are: "I don't know." And she really means it. She's not just saying it to avoid conversation. She really has no idea.
i know it is hard for her as i felt the same way growing up with christstian grandparents and being closer to them then my parents. i have grown away from that part of life with all the BS i get from church people. tell her that she needs to really think about things and that it's not fair on you ta have ta go through that every sunday! that you love her but it's hard on you. also i understand her point of view for all of this so don't be hard on her. and it wasn't fair on you that she went back on something you two planned.
yeah, i think if she told you that she wants to be with you she should act like it, and not let religion get in between you. I know christians who are gay, or are supportive of gay people. Just because shes christian doesnt mean being with you shouldnt be allowed.
