Well folks I am a new person here on the forums. I joined because I dont really know where to turn to in my personal life, so I have turned to youtube and forums for support I guess. My back story: My name is Jon and I am 26 years old. I am out to no one, and I don't believe anyone knows that I am gay. I had sunk to what I consider the darkest time in my life. Hell, I am writing this at 2 am because the stress wont let me sleep. This portion of my life is effecting everything that I do, and I know that I need to come out. I have always known, and told my self when I was 16 (I remember the specific moment) that I wasn't going to be one of those people who stays in the closet forever..... Well, what a load of croc that was. And I have zero gay friends to talk to. I believe the reasons I don't come out are very similar to everyone else's - Friends, family, coworkers knowing, their reaction, abandonment. And its been getting harder and harder as time passes. I just haven't had the guts to tell those who I seek acceptance from. I am constantly calling myself coward. Even worse, I am pretty sure most of my friends/family will accept me. The one person I am terrified to tell is my twin brother. I would hang with him and his buddies all the time, and they definitely do not approve of the life style. Well I think I have finally gotten to the point where the stress, anxiety of going to bars with friends to try and "pick up" chicks, lying to family, most importantly lying to myself.... All of it has to stop. I don't want to live my short time here on Earth worried about what others think of me. I want to be happy. So here is where I stand at this point: My Plan is to tell my family on an upcoming trip to a lake with a cabin. We are going to be up there just away from it all, relaxing on a boat and fishing. This seems like a good time, and if things go sour, well hey, at least I am at a place that calms me down. I am questioning if I should call my dad prior to it, and do it over the phone. I think he would be the most understanding of all, and I would like to have a shoulder to lean on when I tell everyone else. As for my friends, I haven't quite thought that out yet. For me I think it would be easier to tell family then friends, don't know why I am more nervous about that. If you managed to read this far, I appreciate the time you took to kind of get a sense of where I am coming from (where you came from?) If you have any advice, thank you for sharing. Getting this off my chest at least somewhere else besides my thoughts is somewhat refreshing. I really hope that when I do come out, that weight will just finally lift off my life, and the stress will vanish. Thanks -Jon
Hey, I totally get this. I went through the same thing to a degree. When I was 16 I told myself, "coming out won't be hard, why is everyone making such a big deal out of it". Well when it finally came round to it, it turned out to be the hardest thing I've ever done. But the sense of relief was so worth it. Family is always good to start with, after all they're your family they will love you no matter what. My mum was pretty upset not because I was gay but because she wasn't the first to know and I guess that was my only regret. But I just didn't have the courage to face her with the news first. There's never going to be a good time to do it and there will never be a right or wrong way. Just tell them when and how you feel most comfortable and I'm sure they will respect you and love you no matter what. Good luck I hope everything works out for you (sorry for the useless advice, hope it helps somewhat)
thank you Garchi and Dave for the kind words. @garchi just talking about it is great, or rather typing it =P. So its never useless.
Best of luck to you! Hopefully everything turns out ^)^ I find that with coming out, getting the actual words out is the hardest part, everything after is usually a lot easier, but one way or another, I wish you the best!
