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My Parents keep saying that im gonna marry a woman :\

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Tomwinsatlife, Jul 17, 2013.

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  1. Tomwinsatlife

    Tomwinsatlife
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    So i only recently accepted the fact that i am gay, even though it would be pretty apparent to somebody who has seen the things i do when im alone, (i.e. watch ever youtube video even remotely gay themed and be aroused, and wear my moms makeup :\), and i came out to my cousin, who came out in January. Well he was very surprised, because i come off very masculine and dont follow most gay stereotypes. He never suspected of my being gay, but he was supportive. Well the problem i now face lies there. My cousin, his name is Tyler, coming out sparked many conversations in my house, in which my very liberal parents said they would be totally fine with me, my older brother, or my older sister being gay, but that they didn't think we were, and like the cowardly idiot i am i just let the opportunity pass me by and agreed that i wasn't gay. WHAT is wrong with me. I love my family, but i cannot deal with the endless remarks on how i will be such an amazing husband to my wife, who is apparently going to be beautiful. They keep acting like i have crushes on girls that i really dont. I just wanna say, hey actually i don't wanna marry her, i actually want to marry channing tatum. But i feell like they will be so surprised, that their relationship with me will change. I don't want that. I also don't know how they will react to their own son being gay, cuz even though they are fine with my cousin, its a little more personal when it comes to me, their youngest. Is their any advice you have for me? Should i just not come out/label myself yet, as i dont plan on coming out to my peers in high school. HELP :help:
     
    #1 Tomwinsatlife, Jul 17, 2013
  2. Jameson

    Jameson
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    Well, if you want to come out, than DO IT.

    Your relationship with them will most definitely change, probably for the better, maybe it will lead to a tighter, stronger bond between your family members and you.

    But maybe your parents will go through the five stages of grief. My mother didn't, but my biological father is. Maybe your parents will be completely accepting. I dunno know.

    Anyways, if coming out is important to you, and you're beating yourself up for holding it in, then come out. There are just some risks you'll have to take.
     
    #2 Jameson, Jul 17, 2013
  3. gavguy

    gavguy Guest

    I had the same experiences growing up and was told quite frequently "wouldn't you like to meet up with a nice young lady ?". This used to make me really mad and I just wanted to shout back"NO I DON'T WANT TO MEET A NICE YOUNG WOMEN, I WANT TO MEET A MAN AND GO OUT WITH HIM"
    One christmas I was also given a video tape of a girl porn type thing to try and make me go out with a women by my father and I just laughed it off and threw it secretly in the bin.
    My parents were a bit old school if you understand my meaning ( very set in the olden days) and I did tell my mother who told me I wasn't, this took a huge amount of courage and to get that reaction was very hard on myself, but I carried on being gay ( not trying to hide it) and everyone knew in the end apart from my father and older nephew who only found out last year when I told them aged 43 !
    You need to gain as much confidence, feel happy that you are gay and only then will you feel that the time is right for you to be able to confront the questions.
    Carry on talking about it, and you will find that each day will become easier and easier...
     
    #3 gavguy, Jul 17, 2013
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    One simple solution is to write them a note, or letter, and say "Hey, you know that conversation we had? I wanted to tell you, but couldn't quite bring myself to do it. I'm gay, and I wanted you to know." or something simple like that.

    I know what you're saying about how difficult it can be. But it sounds like you're ready to tell them, and it sounds like they'll be accepting once you do.
     
    #4 Chip, Jul 17, 2013
  5. Lunarchy

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    Coming out is definitely a hard thing to do, but it can also be a real relief once it's done. The hardest part is getting the actual words out "I'm gay!" To them. It sounds like you're parents will accept you, which is a good thing. I know the feeling of embarrassment and anxiety that comes with telling someone you care about, but I also know the relief that comes after, and it is the best feeling in the world ^)^
     
    #5 Lunarchy, Jul 17, 2013
  6. Munyal

    Munyal
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    That sounds like my family. You will feel a ton better once you tell them. Openness is the best thing in the world.
     
    #6 Munyal, Jul 17, 2013
  7. Tomwinsatlife

    Tomwinsatlife
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    Wow thank you all so much. I really appreciate the advice
     
    #7 Tomwinsatlife, Jul 17, 2013
  8. KyleD

    KyleD
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    They love you and seem to be accepting. You should tell them.
     
    #8 KyleD, Jul 17, 2013
  9. FucSoc

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    I know what you feel.
    Lately I've noticed a few times my mother talking about me marrying a man,
    something that probably won't happen because i'm homoromantic and I'm sure i won't marry a guy only because he's hot. Still! I think my parents are liberal and they always support me, so i'm sure they will accpet me ^^ maybe right away and maybe it'll take some time. but in the end of the day, i'm their daughter and they love and care about me. so yea maybe it will be hard for your parents, and maybe not :slight_smile: but they always love you, remember that.
     
    #9 FucSoc, Jul 17, 2013
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