I'm 17 year old girl and I've known I'm bisexual for about four years. I've always wanted to come out but everytime I thought about it, it made me feel sick. However, last night I was at a party, got drunk, and told two of my closest friends I'm bi. As soon as I said it I regretted it, felt really angry at myself and started crying (partly the alcohol). My friends were really supportive and great but I felt so embarrassed and still do. I'm still in disbelief that I actually told them and instead of feeling happy and relieved that I came out, I feel ashamed, angry, embarrassed, and want to wind back time so I don't do it. This is actually torturing me :icon_sad: I saw one of my friends today at work and everything was normal but we didn't talk about it. I have no clue what to do, I'd really appreciate it if anyone could give me any advice or help :help:
What you did was actually brave, not stupid, you cannot turn back time & jumping back into the Closet is not an option, how ever comfortable that closet once was, you have now stepped out to these two Friends, your Friend probably won't mention anything until you do, as this will all be knew to her as well & it is up to you to test the waters How you approach her or the other friend is up to you, face to face, text, e-mail or FB Messaging, just ask are we still OK after what I told you last night & take the conversation from there, it does get easier, I can now be myself to friends I have told, it will be such a relief once you clear the air Good luck with what you decide to do (*hug*)
Don't worry about it. If they support you, then thats great. If you don't want to come out completely yet, tell them not to say anything to anyone about it. If they are truly good friends, they will respect your wishes. And don't push them. Just let it sink in and don't bring it up. Let them do it.
You are having what Brené Brown calls a vulnerability hangover. Check out her video on Ted.com. Her book Daring Greatly is wonderful as well. You should check it out. Listening to Shame
Something to consider from my experiences.... I noticed that when I told some people they honestly didn't care, which is why, I later found out, that they didn't say anything about it. Every circumstance is different, but for me it was terrifying to come out to some of my friends - the fear was so great that I expected an earth shattering response, and when I didn't get it I was confused. The reality was who I was attracted to didn't have any impact on who I was or our friendship. I was lucky that many of my friends realized that. Your friends may realize that too.
The reason you feel the way you do is because of knowing how people will accept and judge you, rejection is hurtful and I think this is one of the main reasons why people tend to stay in the closet. Telling people for the first time is very uneasy, and the true in the matter is that the more people who find out the easier it will get and the happier you will feel. Don't feel ashamed that you told your friends, look at this as a starting stone for future happiness. I kept myself in the closet as long as possible but now I regret this and if I could turn the clocks back then I would tell people a lot sooner than I did, so please don't feel embarrassed, feel proud that you can start to be the person you are, don't hide as I think staying in the closet is far worse for your health. Good luck and I hope that you manage to accept yourself better now since telling people
I once came out when I was drunk, too, and I regretted it for a while, but I don't really regret it anymore The person I'd hoped would be supportive, was really supportive, so I'm kinda happy about it now
I know exactly where you're coming from here, I was at my school's leavers ball (which is like prom for sixth form) and I wasn't even that drunk but obviously drunk enough to say some stupid things! I was talking to a girl I know who I also work with and I guess it just kind of slipped out, we we're talking about relationships and how complicated girls are and I said "it would be easier being gay" and later she asked me about it and I said I was gay. As soon as I said it started crying and I still have no idea why, it's actually the first time I can remember crying in the past 10 years, maybe it was because she was the first person I told. Anyway my point is that the next day at when I went to work she was there and I felt ridiculously embarrassed to even be in the same room as her so I mostly ignored her, later that night she text me saying she understands how embarrassed I felt and now we're back to normal and I can just be myself around her. So I would advise you to just talk to them about it if you have any worries, considering they obviously accept it you have nothing to worry about!
Your actually brave for doing so it was obviously something you had in mind doing and drink gave you the courage to do what you was really thinking deep inside. I know it easier said then done try not to regret it and take as something that you was going to do eventually just happened sooner. You defiantly a lot braver then me I have still not fully come out yet but I am at the stage where I want to. I know I not much help but I just thought I would say it take courage to do it in any circumstance.
Ha, same thing happened to me last night funnily enough! I'm so glad though. Maybe you feel that way cuz you still aren't sure In yourself whether you definitely are. I guess society tells us to make a decision and get on with so obviously you aren't happy with the one you've made. I actually did that myself once, but it blew over like yours has. Just leave it for a while and have a bit more of a think about who u are and come back to this issue at a later date!
After I came out to my friend, I felt terrible. I was scared and anxious. I hate the thought of my friend think that i'm attracted to girls (although its the truth) But with every passing day, I realized that it was brave and the right thing to do. I came out two weeks ago, and now I can tell you that I really don't care if she knows, and it's a good thing because now I have someone by my side who support and help me. Eventually you'll have to tell your friends about your sexual orientation, so don't be mad at yourself, you did well and i'm sure everything will be fine
