Boys of EC, i have a question for you...

Absolutely. I used to be like eww omg who would ever do that. But of course it was reaction formation. In other words an ego defense mechanism trying to cover up the fact that I liked seeing "gay" things portrayed.

 

I sure did! I got into a lot of really long relationships with giirls to use as a cover, and I put up a big "I'm not gay!" front.
But the weird thing is that I never saw anything wrong with gay sex......I just thought that the kissing was bad, but I've learned otherwise!

 

I just would say its gross.

Of course, I didn't mean it, but I had to say it, what would people think if I wasn't out yet and they saw me watching it with no reaction?

 

Ive been kinda in the same situation, with people being all 'who the f*** would do that' and such, and I think the people who do that are either a) in denial about their sexual identity, b) creepy homophobes (homosexuals in general or that one might find them attractive), or c) their just plain immature.

 

Interesting question!

Usually people wouldn't react too harshly or too sensitive when they are being asked about sexuality.

I'm not pretty sure why people will react, maybe he/she is still in the closet, or whatever it is.

For me, at first, I was quite sensitive. I was like creeped out when people asked me "Are you gay ? Which type you like..." kinda question when I answered "I don't really have to dig chicks right now..."

Then something else happened to me. I discovered I was just unconciously, or naturally *interested* in men. No, seriously, I wanna know why. I get as much as a good erection sometimes in the college looking at guys, and this one is even amplified because I'm studying in a world with majority guys.

As for the woman part, it take a lot for me to get *visually* aroused. I dunno why (again), maybe I think that looking at women is just so overrated in my very own senses!

But in the end, I ended up digging both chicks and guys! It's so fun sometimes! :roflmao:

 

I just found it awkward because I wasn't used to seeing stuff like that. I know that from the moment I knew I liked men, I stopped using the word fag so much, but before that, I'd use it like every other kid uses it these days.

 

Ha, I stopped using that too, but sometimes I would say "this is so gay..." with my straight friends or my brother.

I guess I'm just equally attracted to both sexes. Actually I discovered way before I entered college, but I denied it. In the end, I found myself that way.heheh..

 

Sometimes I'll come out and say something like that...and it always surprises whoever I'm with ,lol.

I really don't remember ever getting uptight about seeing that stuff though. It would just seem out of place, and I'd definitely hear other people say "FCUKING GROSS!" or something similar, but I never joined in. I was fairly quiet growing up anyway.

 

God , I'm such a freakin pansy...I still do this =(. Sorry to admit it , but I do .I'm just kinda scared .( Sounds like a huge baby who needs to suck it up and come out of the closet)

 

I don't think that I've ever done that... I mean, I might have... but it's not something that's a significant memory.

 

Nah, can't say I ever did really. I usually just went "Meh, it's their thing. They can do what they want."
It was an adopted attitude from my parents and to some extent my cousins. Although in like, school or something somebody would go "THAT'S DISGUSTING" or "EWWWWW" or something like that I'd usually just shrug it off.

Before I realized I was gay I never really had a front... except for the occasional "I'm not gay..." response from Kate (my older brother's girlfriend) when she would tease me because I never had a girlfriend or seemed interested in a relationship

 

Anytime I saw two guys kissing on TV, I don't really react. I just treat it as a guy and a girl kissing. On a different note, when I saw two girls making out, I'd be more "that's really hot."

Now, I don't comment on any types of kissing made

 

I've always just tried not to react. Although I do become really concious about any tiny movement I make which could be taken the wrong way. But I've only been in that situation about 2 times because normally I don't watch tv or movies with anyone.

 

Well, I'm not a boy. But I used to do that. I consciously was pro-gay rights but I still got very uptight whenever something gay came along. It put me on a knife edge of stress.

 

The question asked for personal experiences and so it shall receive.

Once I was exposed to the concept of homosexuality and asked about it at home (once) and at school (twice) and I denied it I went into a mindset that I absolutely had to make it so. Straight or not I had to make sure I was straight because of my false disclosure and the fact that I was raised to think of homosexuals, not as bad, but somehow inherently irregular (overly manly or effeminate for one's traditional gender roles) and inferior.

To make myself straight I started avoiding any mentioning of gay affection or sex (relationships were okay though - but don't you dare hold hands!) or depictions in media. Whenever I would visit a washroom I behaved in an utmost conservative manner lest I be tempted (which of course I denied the possibility that there was anything to tempt me at all but rather that I was just being polite ... lol doublethink). Any time I saw a hot guy I would chalk it up to me admiring his "spunk" - a word I invented to describe and rationalize my attraction to them. If rationalization didn't work I would use a technique remarkably similar to crimestop - as depicted in George Orwell's 1984 (essentially "Lalalala I'm not feeling any sexual attraction ... spunk Lalalala).

On the other side of things I though I was just a little behind the curve with the rest of my peers in being sexually attracted to girls so I began to train my mind to think "straight". I tried to make it an instinctual reaction to evaluate a girl's attractiveness and how sexy she was compared to others. I chalked up my lack of overt sexual initiative to my being a refined gentleman and of a more mature disposition.

I was always attracted to lgbt issues in the news but I also had to rationalize those too. I tried to convince myself that my interest was purely academic and indeed many of my peers in high school described me as always having my brain turned on - even where it really wasn't appropriate (such as parties).

Epilogue:
What happened when I came out to myself? My whole though processes became a lot clearer and I officially recognized the self-deception I was attempting. And I stopped lying to myself. I swore that, as best as I could, I would not interfere with myself charting the true nature of my sexuality. I went through three days of mourning the loss of my innocence on the subject (at the same time I started lurking in ec), joined on day three, when through another three days of anger and began to be honest with myself.

Oh, and my libido shot right through the roof to heights never before imagined. :icon_bigg :icon_bigg :icon_bigg

Relating this all to your brother that might be bi:

well, although there is no tell in any of this ... if he seems like he is doing a lot of needless and redundant over-thinking about sexuality he may just be 'more than straight'. The best you can do is make sure he knows that he can come to you for help in full confidence on this or any other issue - whether it is just a phase or the real deal and not appear silly in your eyes.

 

Well im glad to see i'm not the only one that acted like that. I was in denial for quite awhile. I go to the point that i did act homophobic. I can even remember getting angry finding out that a hot guy was gay. I would rationalise me looking at guys by saying that i wanted to look like him rather that i wanted him.

 

Ya I most certainly did. I used to say "that's gay" a lot as well but now I only ever say "I'm gay" lol! I was actually outed to my mum while watching Big Brother, there was a gay guy on there talking about his coming out and such and my mum saw how uncomfortable I was.
Hahaha I actually just remembered when I was about 12 and I saw a picture of a cute guy in a book and I did the nasty later on, I never even thought anything of it back then.

 

I would say gross, but that was when I was really little. I said the same thing about anyone kissing =P I was always calld Gaylord by my sister (because my middle name is german, Georg (Gay-Ork)) And she blames herself for me being gay, can't quite explain no one made me that way, she's too stubborn >_<