Right, so, I have this problem. I have always let people think that I was plain straight and all. The thing is, inside of me, I always knew that I also loved women and had crushes on them too. And, well, sometimes I really felt awkward talking about men. I assume they all thought I was insecure. Well, the thing is, I'm gonna be honest, I'm naturally more drawn to women. And it shows in my friends circle. See, I can't even count 3 proper male true friends around me, when it's perfectly normal for most of people my age. Anyway, the thing is, I'm afraid that if I come out, most of my 'girl friends' will just freak out and, I dunno... Maybe they even won't accept to come to a sleep over with me (Like I could attack her, or I don't know). Some of them wouldn't mind, I know, but some of them might just reject me... And I don't want that. See, the very one I wouldn't like her to reject me is plainly disgusted by lesbian relationships... I mean, I have this crush on her ok ? And I would like to tell her x_x So I'm thinking... And thinking again. Maybe I should just keep it all to myself and make sure I can still enjoy their company, which is better than nothing to me. But I don't know. I feel like it's eating me from the inside lately. It's like, I wanna shout to the world that I'm bisexual, or maybe just lesbian 'cause boys don't seem to work naturally for me... I don't know for how long I can keep it inside, since I've already tried to come out to some people and, well, as few as they are, they were all kinda surprised...
Hello there my friend. I think the best person to come out to first is your best friend rather than the person you are crushing on. Don't just post it on Facebook but rather make the coming out thing slow otherwise things will get overwhelming. Once you are comfortable enough you can tell the girl you are crushing on. Keep I mind that if she reject in a homophobic way and refuses to be your friend any more then she was probably not worth it anyway. A friend in need is a friend indeed. I wish you the best. Good luck.
Yes, maybe that's a better idea... But sometimes, I'd rather get done with it already, have this overwhelming thing all at once then it's gone, people will start to deal with it ... But as you said I need to be comfortable with it with enough of my closest people before I go out publicly ... Since I've been on this website, and reading about sotires, getting advice, I have already started to feel better with myself As for this friend who I have a crush on, well... She wouldn't be really homophobic. Plus she's got a boyfriend. But we're really close, and I know we would stop being close as we are now if she knew. Not that she would reject me, but she would push me away I would find it sad. I'm torn between silence and coming out... :/ Seriously, how many people deal with unsaid feelings in their lives, it's unbearable :/
If the girl you have a crush on is disgusted by lesbian relationships then you shouldn't tell her. At the very least don't tell her about your crush. It will only freak her out. Tell the people who you believe won't mind first. You need people who will support you for who you are before you come out to people who may reject you. When I was 15 I came out to a lot of people and I did face rejection, not from everyone but enough to make me feel really bad. I wish I had been more careful about it. I like Azrael's advice to come out slowly so you don't get overwhelmed.
I understand you not wanting to lose your friends, as I lost most of mine in different ways :/ But you should tell some of them at least. It will make you feel much better.
You know, I'm actually so open-minded about people's lifestyle, that I have difficulties to comprehend how one can be rejected ; how can people do that to one another, because I wouldn't do it myself I guess I'll have to let it out to some people anyway. I already did, to be honest. I don't feel like I was taken seriously at all. I told 4 people, and I think it's already a great step for me onto the path of self-acceptance therefore confidence. I told a close friend that would not judge me. Well, it was awkward, but nothing has changed between us, which I think is absolutely amazing. I then told my ex bf, and I think he thought it was just one f my awkward mood, then I dunno. I ended up telling my mum and dad. The result was that my mum just avoided talking about it, saying that 'breaking up with your boyfriend does not mean you're gay or bisexual ! Have you ever been in love with a girl anyways ?" (Then an awkward conversation happened.) My dad was okay with it. So, I don't think I'll make a ig deal of it, you know. I'm still stuck with this feeling of being imprisonned. How can i walk down the streets and check out people, how can I flirt with them girls, talk about my true feelings for everyone I have ever loved, if I'm thought to be plainly straight... Anyway, I will surely take the advice of not telling my crush about that same fact. And try and find ways to let the world know who I really am I suppose ... PS : Thank you a lot you all for your pieces of advice ! I might not sound very grateful while writing, 'cause I don't know how to sound nicer in English, although, be sure I much appreciate your help guys xx !
Alright, so.... I just thought since I started a topic already, I'd just answer back to let you know what happened. I picked up all my courage and just told my closest friends, including that one I have a crush on. I did tell her about the crush, too. And I survived. I actually did survive. I feel relieved. Although, I'm a bit worried that my parent just haven't clicked yet, you know. My mum seems to plainly think that it doesn't suit me, and all, and that I'm just in a phase (I feel like it's very typical...). My coming out to people was kinda very structured stuff, anticipating all the questions of that kind, ... So yeah, all went well, and I feel like something was lifted from me, you know I just feel like that all I have to do now is to be relaxed about it with people I find attractive, in general, including girls, like, ... I dunno how to handle attractive people, since most of them are straight anyway x_x
