Which Bible?

Well I have tons of different Bibles because my family thinks they make great Christmas presents..but, if you're wanting to read them for the stories and stuff you can get a Bible that reads like an actual book, though I've only seen ones like that which are intended for children, but I'm sure there are ones for adults out there too. But if you're wanting to study scriptures or throw quotes at people you should get the King James version or something like that. Maybe get both for both occasions =) I haven't seen Passion of the Christ but I've heard it was either really good or just a bunch of torture...

 

The Bible is a venomous piece of trash that should only be studied with utmost caution.

Most people in America would use the King James Version so start with that, but the Catholic Bible is different so take a look at it as well.

 

>>>The Bible is a venomous piece of trash that should only be studied with utmost caution.

The Bible is actually pretty neutral. It's the people who wield it as a weapon that are dangerous.

Which version? I'd say the Anchor. KJV retains lots of the original translation into English, but includes a lot of outdated and confusing terminology. You might also want to look into a non-religious annotation, which will explain many of the terms, locales, and places that are mentioned.

Lex

 

You might want to just get the New Testament to start off with. It just contains the bits from after Jesus which is the heart of Chrisitanity. Some of the Old Testament can be very confusing and wierd and hard to get into at first. I like the "New Revised Standard Version".

 

That's pretty harsh, wouldn't you say?

 

The NIV is easy to understand. Less "thee"s and "thou"s that the KJV has. I actually read the NSV, which is pretty nice.

 

I can give you several verses from throughout the Old and New Testament that make the Bible a dangerous book all on its own. The Bible should be read a a seminal work of literature, not a moral guide or historical text.

Not really, I could have been a lot more caustic.

 

I agree that it shouldn't really be read as a moral guide, but then again, nothing really should. Morals should be determined by yourself without a whole lot of influence from others.

 

New Jerusalem Bible. This bible is truly remarkable in the ease to read and the depth of the scholarly research that went into it. Unfortunately a lot of bibles are only updated versions of the King James - in other words- translations of translation - however the NJB translates right back from Hebrew, Greek, or Aramaic (sp?). It does admit ambiguity it certain sections and presents a selection of leading possible interpretations where appropriate. Note however that it does include a number of books that are not recognized in a number of Christian denominations (but of course are recognized by others), such as Maccabees 1 and 2.

Also, for starting out -

Keep your head and read with discretion and careful consideration. Use good judgement and a couple of grains of salt. Also I would recommend starting in the new testament as the old one is less central to the message of christianity and is also much harder to understand. Even though you may have a certain itch to read revelations (details the end times) I would urge against it until you get used to everything not always meaning what it appears to mean because ... naked prostitute(s), talking statue(s), and multi-headed monsters taken quite literally is pretty messed up.

Best of luck - and remember, there are plenty of people who would just love to share (read: indoctrinate) with you their specific interpretations of this work :lol:

Hope this helps and happy reading.

 

Like someone above mentions, the King James version is a very quotable poetic version. You can get several versions of the Bible for free from ebook websites that deal with books with expired copyright etc. so you could always have a look there before you purchase a physical copy. Try before you buy as it were.

 

Remember the golden rule:

'If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.'

 

I may advice you to *not* read the New version of the Holy scriptures or however it is called - the Jehovah-witness edition one. I did read it and it is the most out-of order one ever. No offence to anyone, but really... wtf? -.-

I support the idea of just getting a new testament by now. Newer catholic bibles are the best IMO.

 

Okay I don't know why I didn't do this earlier.
But go to Bible Gateway and check out a few editions there, and whichever one you prefer, go ahead and get that one. They all basically say the same thing.

 

Quitex does bring to mind a good point, whether he intended to or not, but ... a lot of bibles use the word "new" in their title. That said, newer is not necessarily better.

The Jehovah witnesses use what is called the New World Translation. It has some controversy and accusations associated with it. Also note that most christian denominations do not recognize JW as a legitimate christian denomination but rather a separate religion with a common lineage.

King James is probably the most universally undisputed versions for protestants; the Good News is made almost with children in mind (it fails that goal though - but it does have cool little stickmen depictions in it); the New American Standard is pretty common; and of course I mentioned my personal preference of the New Jerusalem, which is of Roman Catholic affiliation, but I still use it.

Realistically speaking though - if your goal is only to get the gist of the stories by reading something close to the original source material, it is hard to go wrong with any version that is widely used and accepted across a number of denominations. I'd say go with which ever one you find meets your reading level best - keeping in mind that children's editions usually kill a lot of the meaning for simpler vocabulary (personal opinion there).

Hope it all helps and good luck.

 

If you want some lulz or a break from the real bible:

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

 

HOW could I forget that one. It is stunning. I WORSHEEP TEH BIBUL.

 

The version with all the pages missing.


I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. If you really must push yourself into that, just find the most recent one possible.

 

start with genesis chapter 1 in the new american bible then skip all the way over to the gospel of john and mark, from there, head to 1 corinthians

those are my favorite books ^_^