Last Saturday I was at a fella's leaving do for work. I got a little drunk, I wasn't mega drunk, just drunk enough. Basically I admitted to one of the lads from the office that I was gay. He was great about it. Really understanding. I then went home and told my mum who has told my aunt, uncle and grandparents. Everyone is fine about it. Everyone seems to be really happy for me. A few people are surprised though and a few people are happier about it than I am. It is kind of a relief. At this point I imagine you are wondering whether I'm merely bragging or there is an issue. There is the issue of my dad but I'll deal with that when I'm not living at home. He WILL need time and space after that. He's very homophobic. This isn't the issue though (yet). The actual issue is that I'm concerned I came out too early, now I feel pressurised to be gay and I can't turn back, but I've been really excited about getting with another man. Really excited. Is doubt just creeping in? Is it my sub-conscious telling me I don't want to go down that route in life despite my feelings? I'm a little confused. Any help?
I may not be an expert on this subject but in my opinion there is no "too soon." It's just what feels right for you that matters. You shouldn't feel pressured to act gay, you should just be yourself, and not worry too much about how others expect you to act. I hope that this was helpful and that you manage to get your dad to understand you.
There is no official book of gay behavior that you are required to follow. There is no 'gay' that you need to be. Be yourself and be comfortable in yourself. Some gay people will be very different from you. Some will be rather a lot like you. Treat all of them with respect and politeness unless they give you good reason to do otherwise. You may find that some of your best gay friends will turn out to be very different from you behavior-wise. Similarly, there is no one 'gay' route in life, there is only the path you make for yourself. Live your life in the way, and at the speed, that makes you feel most happy and comfortable. It's YOUR life - so make it a good one. Todd
It's great that they're all supportive. You have nothing to worry about. There's no reason to feel like you have to "be gay" like there's a specific personality that comes with being gay, just be yourself.
It wasn't too soon. You did it cause you were ready. None of the people you've told (grats btw!) are likely to be watching everything you do and pushing you. You'll feel a lot more calm about it later. For me there was a feeling of vulnerability for about a week that was like "Oh god, what have I done," but you know, being gay is just one part of you. There's no rule that you have to start dating or get laid right away, or join the pride parade.
I agree with The Mushroom, that its never too soon. I believe that it was great that you came out. There is such a thing as too late, though, which unfortunately occurs a lot on these forums.
I'd like to think this is normal. I've have nothing but positive reactions from everybpdy and they want me to find somebody like right away. Soooooo not easy. But I too fear I can't ever go back in like I know I'm gay 100% but I think it'd be easier to find a girl as I've had grilfriends and never a boyfriend I have no clue at all about dating a man. Theres sooo much more to it than a heterosexual relationship. It sucks that I'm even thinkng of the possibility of dating a girl.
Thank you very much everyone. Ya all great I just need time i guess! And yeah Corey, i know right my only problem is I confuse emotions with sexual feelings and end up banging my head against a wall. Thinking of it, i never really wanted to be with a girl i guess... I had this girl i thought i was crazy about and since i came out i dont have the same feelings. I still check her out, but i dont fantasise about her anymore... Strange what a difference 1 night can really! I have such a tight control of my emotions that i need to convince everyone else before i believe it... Which is, as you can imagine, ultimately contradictory and confusing. What is life, eh? Lol!
Your sexual orientation shouldn't dictate in any way your behavior. Being a homosexual only means you like someone of the same gender. Don't let yourself be affected by other's stereotyping. BE YOURSELF! Being gay is just one of the many traits that make you well you, it is by no means a character defining quality.
I think you should just let it roll and see what happens. My signature is useful in this case (finally )
