...transgender?? I've been trying to figure this one out for a while now. It seems a lot harder than coming out as gay because people generally understand what it means to be gay, but the same thing can't be said of being trans. So far people seem to think I'm saying: That I'm a lesbian. Which doesn't make sense to me. And makes even less sense to them when they see me continue dating guys. That I'm confused. Which is true to an extent, but not in the ways that they think. I don't need to be pulled back into living as a woman, that won't "fix" me, I just need to keep feeling this out and coming to terms with the fact that what's right for me is likely going to be incredibly difficult. That I'm joking. "Pff, oh you and your silly antics, you're clearly a girl. Hahaha!" I gut you like sheep. Is there a way to explain this to people that doesn't involve a six week course on the topic?? I don't think it's that hard to understand, but well. Other people seem to disagree.
I dont really know but if it were me, id say '(whoever), I know you know me as a girl, but on the inside, I feel like a boy (no, I AM a boy).' Something like that? I know its probly crap advice but good luck anyways
Hi!! You are so brave, and I admire you for trying to communicate with people you love. Your tone sets the stage. If your tone is "I don't know, I'm open for suggestion." people might feel free to keep giving you suggestions or "guide" you. If you are matter of fact and say what you want to say clearly, with a confident smile to top it off, people might act like they knew it before you. (hahaha--my mom probably would do something like that) After having supported friends in their journeys I've seen that once they started living their lives on the outside as they had been feeling inside things all started coming together. At that time I didn't realize that sooner or later it would apply to me too, but now I can see that I have always had the feelings that have surfaced now and though I need to wait a bit to let people in on it (very recent development, kids husband etc) I feel like I want people to share it. There are so many people feeling the same way! But it is true that people don't know what they've never been exposed to. When you're ready you can talk to people about it with confidence and they'll pick up on your tone. You are you and you is beautiful!!! Feel it in every step!!!
Thanks guys. I've told a few friends, (the obvious choices - the ones I anticipated would support me) and they've been very supportive. One is a straight cis girl and a lot of this is new to her, but she does her best to understand, which is very excellent considering not even a year ago the whole concept of transness was confusing for her beyond belief. It's addressing my family that's the hardest part, but I want to tell them. I think they ought to know. Confidence is probably key, I know, and I'm working on saying it with confidence. Maybe explaining that what's on the inside is different than the outside would be a good place to start. I've been thinking of writing a letter, because I'm bad at this face to face thing, but I don't know if it would really be easier. On the one hand, I could guarantee I'm saying what I want to say properly if I write a letter, but on the other, it might be best to just try and calmly talk it out face to face and get it over with.
You sound like you're doing great! I have used letters to communicate things that were important, and it didnt go over well. I dont know if thats everyones experience. I mailed a letter to my parents to tell them i was pregnant when I was 18. Ick. You could write the letter and go to talk to them, and if they just dont get it you could have the letter as back up to leave with them. Maybe even some articles about it to leave with them. My mom kept that dumb letter I mailed and I hate it. I dont like what I wrote, I dont like what I was like at that time in my life and now theres a permanent record of it. Hahaha
Maybe i'll find some good articles to give them. Actually, no, i think I'll definitely do that either way, letter or no letter. Not anything about surgery or whatever, not yet, just the more basic stuff. I don't want to throw myself on them too fast, I want them to get used to this whole trans thing.
Slap your friends and say "I'm trans, you miserable jackass." That should work. In all seriousness--people are stubborn. If they feel like that now, you'll be hard-pressed to change their opinions. Tell them in very simple, almost childish terms, when you first come out. That's your best chance. Something like, "I'm trans, which means that I wish I had been born as a boy. But I still like men, which you might think is unusual. But I have had much more time to think about this than you have and I'm quite certain."
