I've never done this before, posting on a thread anonymous like, but I really need help from people who don't know me or love me unconditionally because blinders, you know. Oh boy... I am going to university soon for the first time and I am scared. Like really petrified. I met my room mate at orientation. She seems really nice but I have a... predicament. I am pretty sure I am bi if not homosexual. Kind of agender... sort of asexual, so homoromantic. I actually don't know or care for labels. But I digress... I don't think I can tell her out right that I am bi, homo, something. Not straight. Because that is awkward and what if she has a really big problem with that. But then, what if I get a girlfriend and she finds out or worst case walks in on us or something horrifying and she isn't okay with it and she gets mad that I didn't warn her or something. Or even if she is okay with it and she is mad that I didn't warn her. But I can't tell her but I should and I shouldn't. AUGH!
Just don't talk about it unless she asks, if you feel uncomfortable. If you bring back a girl, so what? I know people who have had roommates who do crazier stuff than that, and they are okay with it.
I personally wouldnt give a fuck about what a roommate that i dont know thinks of my orientation because for one its none ofanyones business but mine. If u want to bring a girl over that u like i say just do it...its none of her business right? And u dont HAVE to tell her right away, only when u feel comfortable doing so. I already have to hide myself living with my parents and i sure wouldnt want to feel like i have to hide it from a stranger in university as well! Thats just me, i hope this helped? Maybe it didnt i dont know..anyways good luck!
I worried about the same thing when I went off to school, and asked a similar question on EC (woah, flashback) If I were you, I wouldn't worry about telling her. To someone who's a relative stranger, leading with "I'm _____" will make _____ their first impression of you. Wait until you become closer, because then it feels like a more natural conversation to have, right? I mean, it's easier to tell someone because you feel like you trust them rather than telling them out of obligation. Alternatively, if you don't end up being good friends and you eventually find a girlfriend, you can always bring it up when it becomes relevant then. Try not to worry about it too much.
With my experience I will impart my wisdom. Students in college are usually accepting and liberal, and most youngin's don't care. I've always told my roommates that I'm gay almost right after meeting them, and they never seemed to mind. Telling your roommate early might make it easier to find different housing or transfer rooms if you're in a dorm, if the situation requires. Otherwise, you might find something you two can bond over/talk about.
Don't worry about telling her, if she asks then geel free to tell her or if you start going out with someone you can introduce your girlfriend to her. But it'd be best if you came out in a way were there's time to talk to her about it if their are any questions. Not just 'I'm late for class. Oh by the way I'm romantically attracted to girls. Okay bye."
Haha, yeah it wouldn't be something I would say in passing. I'm more in the if you ask I will tell you stage. But also, I had a situation in high school where one of my friends seemed hurt that I didn't tell her sooner.
Don't go looking for imaginary problems. Life presents plenty of real ones. Will you flip out if she has a male boyfriend? Of course not! Relax.
Not that I have much experience with this, but I would say who cares? It's not her business unless you want it to be her business. If you think you should tell her, that's wonderful, but if you don't want to, then you shouldn't feel any pressure
