I've been thinking about how to come out to my parents. My mom is fairly open minded, but my dad is super traditional and very homophobic. But even though my mom is open minded (mostly), we do live in a homophobic society, and in her mind things like homosexuality don't happen to "us", but only in movies and tv shows. In some talks my dad mentioned that he wants me and my brother to be happy, and to find a person to love, whether that's a man or a woman. But he did say that if we do end up "following the unusual way" (being gay) he would not like it but eventually accept it. And sorry to say we are both gay. Now I just don't know how to go about telling them. Should I tell them both together, or first my mom, cause she is not homophobic at all, then my dad. But If I do tell my mom first, I think my dad will get more angry for not telling him as well. I try to lend them some hints. like they know that I support LGBT community, and equal rights, and marriage, and adoption. So basically I'm asking should I shatter their dreams about me, at the same time, or separate. So a little help, or some insight on how you guys (in similar situation) came out (or planning to) to your parents, or advice. :help: Although I'm not planning to come out any time soon, but this has been bothering me since I came out to myself.
Seems like telling your dad would not be the best option especially if it is only him. Maybe telling your mom might be the best option. Ease onto it instead of just dropping it all at once.
Shatter their dreams of you? Au contraire (sp?) You wouldn't be shattering their dreams of you. You said that your mom really would not mind it so I suggest coming out to her first and then ask her to make sure you dad's reaction would be the way you think it would be. Your mom knows you dad better than you do so this is advisable. That's good that you lend them hints so they cannot be totally unprepared for the conversation when the time comes. That being said, you can come out to them through whichever medium you think would be best. I chose to do a letter because I just do it face-to-face when the time comes, also I'll be at University so that's convenient. In addition to that, my dad, my mom & I tend to say before we think so I want to give everyone a chance to process thoughts when they read it.
I would tell both of them. If your mom is open-minded, she can be right there to be sure your dad doesn't say anything hurtful to you, and to be there for him if he is having a hard time with it. Or just tell your mom first. Whatever you choose, good luck!
