(Sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes the tears in my eyes is making it hard to see) So I'm 15, I'm Asian and I just came out to my mum. I don't really know what I'm doing with this thread, maybe I just need people to tell me it will be ok and I need a distraction. Backstory About 1.5 years ago I left my school in the country to go to an all Girls School in the city. I didn't love it or hate it at my old school but in my last year there one of my friends came out as bi and she started dating a girl online and she (her gf) influence her a lot and she started becoming bitchy and emo. I was young and stupid and didn't know what she was going through so I accused her of being an attention seeker, I still don't think she was emo but maybe she really did need the attention as a kind of therapy. So at my new school in the first week or two I got a huge crush on a girl. It was my first real crush now that I know that all my 'crushes' on guys weren't real but it was just me forcing myself to crush on guys but really I just thought they were nice. It didn't take me long to accept that I was gay mainly because I loved the idea so much. I quickly loved the idea of everything gay and started reading heaps of blogs, i marathoned the L word in a month and bought all the Tegan and Sara albums. Every time I discovered a new stereotype or 'trait' that lesbians have I immediately thought "OMG I'm that!' and my life for the last 15 years started to make sense. If I later found out I was straight and that it was a phase I would genuinely be really sad. A few months ago I told my sister over the phone that I was gay, she didn't really react much but she was a little awkward around the topic. 4 days ago she returned from china and was talking with me and mum about all these gay guys she met over there. I realised she was prepping my Mum up for when I choose to come out to her. It worked because I learnt that mum thinks being gay is not a choice and she seems quite comfortable around the topic. My sister left again this morning and I spent a day in the city by myself. When I got home I somehow gained the courage to actually tell her. I had been prepping her for this for months now. It started off like "I kind of knew' and then turned into 'I'm happy as long as you're happy' and we hugged. I knew my mum would still love me and accept me but I was so surprised that she didn't cry (after reading runaway's story). She then said 'can you please promise me you will try and be friends with more guys and I though here it comes she going to tell me I can be straight. This led to me awkwardly talking about how lesbians usually are friends with boys and a bunch of other stuff about how being gay wont change my life and plan too much. She then said that I'm still so young and I don't know much yet and I should still keep an open mind about everything and that I shouldnt limit myself to being a lesbian. Then I tried to explain the kinsey scale and that I was probably a 4 or 5 to give her hope that I could still marry a man it will all be better. Then she started crying and saying that what if I marry a person who is a 9 (on a scale of 1-10, 10 being soul mate) and I meet my 10 and blah blah I didn't really see where she was going at because now we were both crying. She said that even though she already thought so it was still hard for her and even though my new gay life would still be like my old straight life it was still weird and hard to take in... something like that. This whole time she was cleaning the stove and avoiding eye contact, as soon as she made eye contact she cried. Then the rice was done and I said I was already full and left. I went into my room put on my fav T&S Cd and cried my eyes out for about 10 minutes then decided to write this. I'm not sad for myself but I sad for my Mum. She loves me so much and I feel like such a horrible person for doing this to her. Now I'm really scared to leave my room incase she is still crying. It's 6:13pm and I plan on staying here till after she goes to bed to give her some time to take it in. (Mum enters my room while I'm typing this out and asks me about ordering key rings for the shop and which letters are more popular, then says I shouldn't just watch tv (she thinks im watching tv on my laptop) and I should clean my room) She seems like shes over it, I don't know what's going on anymore. Now I just have one question: Can I be super gay now and hang a rainbow flag in my room or should I still try and be normal. (Mum enters my room again and says that she isn't going to tell Dad about what I told her in case he isn't ok with it and she will only tell him if she knows he is ok with it) This answers my earlier question. But this confirms she was still thinking about it and isn't over it yet. If I didn't mention this earlier my dad is in china for a few weeks on business. Live blogging is a great distraction. Should I come out at school. I was only scared because it might get back to my parents but now I dont care plus my school is one of the most gay friendly schools in melbourne.
Congratulations & well done you, I know how hard that was for you & you have my highest respect for being so brave :newcolor: your Moms reaction was just shock, I believe that all Moms of Gay Kids, know that their child is Gay deep down, your Mom is coming to terms with what you have just told her, give her time, she sounds like a great Mother What you do at school is now down to you, only you will know who to tell & who you think will be supportive of you, I don't see the problem with the Rainbow Flag, I went out & bought myself some Rainbow Bracelets & I wear them with Pride ride: PS: Your Sister is Cool
Congratulations!! You were very brave. I wouldn't go crazy with rainbows but a couple is probably okay. Give your mom some time to feel her emotions. It is still a big adjustment for her. Would your dad find out from the school? That the only reason I can think of not to come out at school.
My dad doesn't really follow what is going on at school. I actually have a little rainbow flag on my chalk board but I don't think the rainbow flag is big in china so he probably doesn't know what it means. As with school I want to go to the gay people and friends club (thats not what its called) and come out to everyone there because it wont be as emotional and I know they'll be supportive. I also have a friend I might tell because she is even more pro gay than I am. As for my close friends they are either immature and I can't get serious with them or very religious. Is it bad if lots of people know except my close friends. I also want to be out to all new people I meet as if I have been out my entire life this will probably train me to be better at coming out.
Congratulations, I hope you are proud of yourself because that is an awesome step to take in your life and you are so brave. As for your mum, everything she has said is a knee jerk reaction, you just need to give her time to come to terms with the news before can accept that you will never date boys. Your mum is awesome, but giver her time
Congratulations on making this decision. I am right there with you. However, there is a major difference. In a couple of days I will turn 54. I am now coming out. I have suppressed all these emotional feelings for decades. You are a brave individual. Go forward my friend.
You know when you grow up and look back at younger people and they seem like babies but when you were that age you felt old. I guess I'm like that now. I noticed that most people came out to themselves after 20 let alone coming out to other people you must all think I'm like a tiny little kid coming out of the closet :lol: I feel so old now like I'm in my mid twenties. Thanks everyone for the kind words and I'll tell you if I end up coming out at school tomorrow
wow, you go gurl. And I don't think you are a little kid coming out. It takes real strength and courage to come out. It makes you more grown up than you think. Go forth and be the best you that you can be!
Congratulations! I am so happy for you and that your mom and sister accepted you! This is such a huge step and accomplishment! Best wishes!
Yes If you don't care what people think about it and your school is gay friendly, why not? As long as you don't feel like it's too much too soon, since you just told your mom today.
