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living a horrible life

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by chris211, May 8, 2008.

  1. chris211

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    Ever since i came out things have bin going down hill lost good friends being called fag everyday yes every single fucking day also my dad doesn't accept me of what I am.I have been thinking suicide so many times (not right now).When my dad is drunk he tells things he wouldn't normally admit like deep inside he ill never exept me for who I am.Also at school people call me a fag and a whole bunch of sick stuff.
    Today is my birthday guess what i get nothing not cake nothing.being yelled at contently by my parents.
    My school is SO ignorant about gays it just makes me so angry and i got all this built up rage if i burst I dont know what i will do.Everyday i feel sadder and sadder never have anyone i can trust or feel comfortable about talking about it.
    Also i went out with a boy and he spread it all over the school I had to keep dening it andi broke up with him beause the harassment was unbearable.

    any advice because live doesn't look to be worth living anymore
     
  2. wherewulfe

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    well, sometimes god just says "fuck you"

    what do we do, we pick it up and keep moving. as for the kids at school, its just words, can a word kill a man physically? no
    its hard but it gets easier as you go on

    now as for your parents im not entirely sure since im still in the same boat as well.....

    anyway, welcome *hugs*
     
  3. Gumtree

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    GAAh This makes me so angry :frowning2:

    Move to Australia with me?
     
  4. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    TAKE A SECOND AND BREATHE.
    Please, anytime you feel like you're out of gas and you're gettin stuck on one point where life is just being shitty, give yourslef a break, get in your room, shut the door, turn off the lights and relax. I don't know if you believe in God, but let me tell you that he won't ever give you an abstacle that is too big for you to handle. I bet you HAVE someone to talk to (If not, feel free to poke me) and vent.

    I am just sorry to hear all that. You're a special person and don't let them bring you down. Don't let them laugh by see you suffering. You're worth sooo much that I need to ask you, please don't suicide ever!!!!

    Have you talked with a couselor? I think you should. *Hugs*
    Good luck hun. you'll work through it. I know you will.
     
  5. Grof142007

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    it only for now just breathe relax look around and let life roll off ur back


    i never be named called so i dont know the feeling but i know it hard. ur 14 just starting high school. people are immature they get over it soon or later ur be old news when someone new comes in. dont let them see it bothers u and they give up eventually.

    Stay Strong Life is worth Living Trust me
     
  6. Nitro

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    Oh god that is terrible. It is sad but true to say that one of the reasons why many young gays (and lbt too) often display great maturity for their respective ages is because of the hatred and fear they have had to face compared to their peers.

    Okay, the suicide thing - you may feel this is belaboring the point but don't please don't kill yourself. If you feel like doing something radical could you try reaching out instead? Many people have already offered to help in this thread already, but I would like to add myself to that list (just PM me and we can set up the details). EC is of course here to help but perhaps there is also something in your area for youth. Councilors can help sometimes too.

    Now as to these punks at your school - if they are anything like the folks I've had to deal with they get some sick pleasure out of seeing you suffer. Don't feed it. What is perhaps most disturbing is that they often see little wrong with what they are doing and think it is all one big "joke". Fortunately there is a way to rise above all them and make them stop in the long term. It involves getting healthy support from people you can trust and excelling at what you do in that school, not to spite them, but rather irregarless of them and whether they try and taunt you or not.

    I hope some of this may have been of some comfort and know that not all the world is as intolerant as your school. Now as for your dad ... I'm at a loss. Something tells me there is more under his proverbial bonnet than first meets the eye.
     
  7. beckyg

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    I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. (*hug*) I'm also sorry you are having such a miserable birthday. I want you to know there are people that care right here on this forum.

    The first thing is you have the right to go to school each and every day and be free from harrassment. You need to talk to someone at your school and get help for this. Do you have a trusted teacher that you can talk to about this?

    You say your Dad doesn't accept you. What about your Mom? Does your Dad have a drinking problem? It sounds like you have more than one problem going on in your household. Maybe you need to seek some help from the outside.

    Feel free to PM me. I'd like to help you. Don't give up on life. Things will get better. (*hug*)
     
  8. Mirko

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    Hi Chris,
    Happy Birthday!

    I want you to know that you can pm me any time if you feel you need to talk or just want to vent. I can just add my voice to the above already mentioned points - please talk to someone at your school - as Becky mentioned a teacher that you trust or a counselor. If you feel you need to go outside of your school do so. Maybe you could join a PFLAG chapter in your area. Some of them will have meetings and support for youth, where you could also talk to someone. Or maybe there is another support group that you could join. I'll try looking some stuff up for you and I'll pm it to you.

    You have mentioned your dad, what about your mom?

    A lot of things don't seem to make sense right now, but I am sure that you will and can rise above that. You've mentioned that you've lost good friends. I'm sure you will find new ones and perhaps even better friends that will understand you. Think about all the things you can and will achieve in life. Sometimes, life deals with us harshly but we will only grow stronger as a result. I can only echo what has been said in the previous threads, life is worth living. Don't give up on it! You will make it through.
     
  9. Jim1454

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    Hey Chris. Happy belated birthday! (*hug*)

    I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. When you're having trouble at home and at school there isn't really anywhere for you to feel safe or happy... and that really would be a tough life to live in.

    It really isn't fair, but life isn't always fair. Unfortunately you're finding that out sooner than most people should. But you're going to have to fix some of this stuff yourself - at least by getting some help.

    It's pretty important to have people in your life that you can relate to, and that you can talk to about the things that are bothering you. We're here, of course. But someone in person is better. A school counsellor would be great - because someone at school should be made aware of the bullying that is going on. I'm guessing that your schoold doesn't have a Gay/Straight Aliance... but if there is any kind of support group in your area you should look into joining it. Maybe your parents have some kind of counselling available to their family members through work - many large companies have an 'Employee Assistance Program' that could provide free counselling services to you and to your dad.

    Take hope in the fact that life really does get better. Highschool IS NOT the best time of your life - trust me! How depressing would that be? To have the best part of your life overwith by the time you're 18. No - life gets better. Trust me.

    And finally - you can ALWAYS PM me. Any time. I mean it! You don't need to feel alone.
     
  10. Lexington

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    Wow, you got it pretty bad, no question. Being 14 and 15 is crappy enough without having the additional crap you're going through.

    As Jim said, you're going to need a support network, and right now, it doesn't seem like you have too many folks in your corner. There's us, of course, but we won't be able to help too much when the hatred starts at school. You don't mention any other family members - mother, brothers, sisters - for good or ill. If you think any of them might be of any help, try them out. If you think any of your "old" friends might be of any help away from school, try them out as well. Yeah, it'd be great if they stood by your side at school, and faced the slings and arrows from the hurtful students alongside you, but that might be a lot to expect. If they'll at least talk to you away from school, that's at least something. Do go see your school counselor, and let him know what's going on. He should have some resources that'll help you out.

    As far as your father goes, that one's going to be tough. What's he like when he's sober? Distant? Can you approach him? Let him know what he says to you when he's drunk, and how it hurts you?

    Most of us get tested at some times in our lives. It seems like you're getting tested early, and in a major way. That sucks. Majorly. But you CAN get through it. We're all a lot stronger than we ever think we can be. You're going to have to take this on faith right now, but life actually can and WILL kick ass. Hang on, because you definitely need to experience it. If at any time you're feeling majorly suicidal, reach out instead. Contact us here, or a suicide prevention place. We'll help you get to the other side. Promise. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  11. chris211

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    thanks you guys for all your help i am looking forward to go to a pflag meeting this Tuesday hopefully that will cheer me up it just seems allot of people treat me allot different since i came out. Anyway thanks for the advice and asteroid for being very help full

    any further advice will beappreciated
     
  12. Lexington

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    Well, you ARE in Iowa. :slight_smile: Things probably have changed drastically since I went to high school (here in Colorado), but in my day, I think we had one guy out of the closet at our school. Out of 4000 students. And I'm not even sure he was out - everyone just sort of assumed it.

    If there aren't more "out" students at your school, you're doing something known as "upsetting the paradigm". People assume life is a certain way, and then something comes along to alter that. To many people in smaller cities, homosexuality is something that happens in big cities, and never happens in their hometown. They may have some image of what gays look like, and what gays do. And you're probably challenging those images, and people don't like that. They don't like finding out that things they have believed for years are incorrect. It's easier just to think that you're just like their little images, and then not have anything more to do with you.

    What can you do? Do your best to remain positive, open and friendly. Don't try to ingratiate yourself with any certain group - the jocks, for instance - but be friendly to everyone. Even that weird guy who plays Dungeons and Dragons all the time. :slight_smile: You never know who you might click with.

    Let us know how the meeting goes.

    Lex
     
  13. paint

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    Sooner or later your dad is going to have to realize that you are getting older. If he treats you bad, he could lose you to a much bigger world than your house, and he will have to live with his decision. Unfortunately you have quite a while until that time.

    Also, if your dad has a drinking problem, how can he judge you for being yourself?--don't let him get to you. This is your life.

    I hope you find more inspiration at the meeting. (*hug*)