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Coming out to friends.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ScatteredEarth, Jul 28, 2013.

  1. ScatteredEarth

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    Okay, so as you may know, I have recently come out to my mother and sister. But recently I have felt the urge to come out to my 2 friends who happen to be brothers. I know they are tolerant of LGBT people and one of them has even gone through a questioning point in his life. I would like to come out to them, but I'm in fear as to how I should go about doing this. Any suggestions?
     
  2. BiPenguin

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    Well, as you know they're are supportive, over a cup of coffee maybe.
     
  3. ScatteredEarth

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    It's not as simple as that unfortunately. I feel as though it may make our friendship awkward. And it's not like I have the money to actually do something in a public place.
     
  4. Pat

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    Hell, some people find it insensitive to send it in a text. But that's how I've done it more times than not. I don't want it to be a big deal anyway. So I just say, "Hey, I'm gay dude" lol. I only told my two best friends. The other people i've told were circumstantial. Like someone assuming I'm straight (always) and asking me what kind of girls I like or something, then I just say.. I'm into dudes. I don't know how you want to come out though. For me, it was more about blending in and not making a scene out of it. For others, they want to be acknowledged and want to really have a chance to talk about it. Either way works well.. just depends on what your friendships are like. The good thing is that it doesn't sound like you'll have to worry about rejection.
     
  5. BiPenguin

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    Ahh, you're 15. Didn't see you age there. If you think your friends may feel as if you're coming onto them, I can see how that would create some feeling of unease. You know your friends best though.
     
  6. ScatteredEarth

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    It's not like they'll stop talking to me or anything. I just feel like they may look at me differently. All i really want is to get it out in the open and move on with our lives.
     
  7. Randy

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    True friends won't look at you differently no matter what. I realize you think that they'll look at you in a different light, but I can assure you nothing will change between you. And to touch on BiPenguin's point, it is perfectly valid for people to feel like a person is coming onto them when they come out but I feel like a point needs to be made they you're not coming onto them and that you are just embracing who you are
     
  8. bscott92

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    ILIKECATS is right. True friends won't care. If they do, they weren't the friends you thought they were.
     
  9. ScatteredEarth

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    I mean, I know they won't mind, for god sakes I've known them for over 5 years now, but still there's something blocking me from saying it and it's killing me.

    To make things weirder, I'm actually using his computer to type this message as he's not currently here. I know his family very well and have the luxury of coming here even when he's not.
     
  10. bscott92

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    The inner struggle you're having right now is way worse than telling them will be.
     
  11. ScatteredEarth

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    I just don't know why.. I didn't even have this much issue with my mother.
     
  12. crickett

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    You stated that one of your brothers may be LGBT as well. If it was me, I would take this brother out to a solitude place and discuss his feelings with you. During this discussion I would reveal, i.e., come out, to him. In addition, he may have the same anxiety you have. He may not want to be judged. He is afraid. If you take the initiative, he may come out to you as well. Good luck! Go forward my friend.
     
  13. ScatteredEarth

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    I got the perfect opportunity to come out. Tomorrow we are going to a sports bar for all you can eat wings night. I'll tell them then seeing as its one of the best possible times.
     
  14. Randy

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    That's great!! Tell us how it goes!!
     
  15. BiPenguin

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    All the best with it.
     
  16. ScatteredEarth

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    Update!: Yes, I ran into a snag in the road because it turned out that we had more company coming with us than just us 3. So instead of waiting until we got the restaurant, I told them on the car ride to pick up our other friends. I got exactly the response I hoped for. It was something like "That's good for you, best of luck" And that was it. That's all I wanted. Just for it to be known and thankfully I got just that. I also found out that my friend was indeed questioning himself and he still is. But I'll just leave that to him. :slight_smile: