So... the wall cracked a little yesterday

I am currently out to most people, but not to my parents. And I don't plan on being so until college. The reason is because I'm having my entrance exams by the end of 2013, and will be in college next year. So, my parents are already worried enough about me, and don't need more stress in their lives.

Anyway, my defensive shield, that I have built to avoid their discovering of my sexuality against my will, started falling apart yesterday. I was calmly working on my computer when my mother came into my bedroom, something that she rarely does. She wanted me to print some old exams for the college she wants me to attend. As I was printing it, I left my documents from Microsoft Words window open, and she saw and questioned me about the title of a story I am writing (Anthony and Matt). I said it was simply a story I was writing but havent finished yet, when it is actually a gay erotic fiction.

But the worse is yet to come. I had to print around three exams, and she decided (without asking me, of course) to look around my bedroom. Recently, I have been removing LGBT news articles from the newspaper, in order to make a huge file and read them later. I keep them all in the same drawer, but this time I left the most recent one (about the rise in homophobic crime in Rio de Janeiro) right next to my printer. And she grabbed it to read. Out of instinct and fear, I removed it from her hands, and she asked me how did that aticle end up there. I told her I was reading the newspaper the previous day and I did not notice the page falling to the floor, and then the maid picked it up and put in there. I know, pretty lame. Im sure it did not work as an escuse. She read the aticle and after we were done I tossed it in the trash.

Now, what should I do now? Pretend nothing has happened? My mom is a smart woman, so Im sure she has a vague idea of the truth now.

 

Haha I'm not rich. It's just that, in brazil, you can afford to have a maid who works in your home five days a week if you are at least middle class. That is, until it was passed a law that extends to domestic service the benefits of all other types of work, which means that by the time I have my own residence, having a maid is a luxury I won't be able to afford.

The thing is, I don't know if my mother is supportive. She was never overly homophobic, but never stated that gays should marry, etc either. She grew up with a homophobic family, much like all of her generation, and always wanted me to get a girlfriend, in order to give her grandchildren in the future. I think her belief that I'm straight will block any homophobic reactions at this point. But maybe she'll keep the news article in her memory when I finally decide to come out.

 

Haha nice suggestion (I swear I'm not being sarcastic), but like any other parent in the world, she'll want me to know WHO these gay friends are. (I have only one, and I met him EC ) I'm terrible at creating fake stories extremely quickly, to defend myself, so she would probably see through it. And of course, if she's a homophobe in disguise shell get shocked by the news I'm talking to LGBT people. She already refused to believe, years ago, that one of my then classmates was a lesbian.