I have been really thinking on this recently. Im confused and questioning my sexuality. I am totally open and accepting of gay people, but the realization of me possibly being gay/bi has been weighing kind of heavy. I dont know who to talk to. I dont know where to begin. I keep telling myself that im only 14 and I have time to figure it out. This may be kind of weird, but I feel like one thing that is holding me back is camp. The camp I go to is my life. Camp is where I have met some of my best friends, everyone ia loving and accepting. The thing about it that is holding me back is that its an all girls camp, and I feel like if my camp friends found out I was questioning my sexuallity, things would get weird and I would never be able to go back. Also, I am about to start an all girls high school. I have never been out with anyone (girl or guy), never kissed anyone. I keep telling myself that I really havent expirienced enough to really even start thinking about this, but it keeps popping up. I just need some advice, some stories. I dont want any of my camp friends to find out about this and get weird about it, comsidering I just spent a month with them. Sorry camp ended up a big part of this, but it really does mean a lot to me. Its one of those things you have to expirience to really understand. Sorry there is probably a million typos too. Thanks in advance.
Hi WinterWinds I a similar situation as yourself although a lot older, I'm 18 and male if that counts for anything. Currently I'm more or less fine with the possibility that I could be bi/gay, but just accepting the posibility helped a lot (I used to be a homophobe ironically, but when ever someone called me gay I threated to hurt them) its taken the edge off the constant thoughts I've been expiriencing, and the "need" to actually act on my thoughts. This has happened to me before when I was around 14 as well, the wanting to have to be close to a guy in a physical and emotional sense(sorry if I'm grossing you out), but as it was before my 1st kiss(opposite sex). Now that I'm older and I've experienced a bit been a few relationships which never went to well to be honest and now I find myself in this position again, so it must mean something right? Lol. But all I really want to say to you is this, just as a start accept the possibility that you might be gay then take things from there alright? If you develop feeling for girls its alright, its who you are, embrace it, be proud. Just don't realise that you have feelings for the same sex and deny it and act out as straight(hetero). Don't cheat yourself and others. Be true to who you are and tackle the challenges you are faced with instead of hiding from it. Goodluck on your journey, after all life is a journey FormulaTuner
When I first started to realize that I was different was when I was about the same age as you, and I can remember having the same fears. What I did was not try to hide any of my feelings. No beating around the bush, people sometimes would ask me if I liked boys, and I would reply "I think so" and when they asked me about girls I would reply "I dont know, havent really thought about it". That sort of unattachment to the outcome of what people (or even your own) expectations was liberating in that people just no longer had something to make fun of, and the ones who tried were quickly seen by others as jerks. If you allow yourself the ability to be vulnerable, but not certain at the moment, I think you will find the most peace. Much love,
