I'm bisexual and engaged to a man. I have two children and a future step-child. I've always had strong sexual feelings towards women and have had two flings in the past. I love my fiancé to pieces but deep down I feel like I am more attracted to women. Then there's this whole side of me that wants to explore more with women but I'm in a committed relationship... Also, the handful of people who know I'm bisexual are totally supportive. However, I'm from a small conservative town and work at a small conservative place. People already give me sideways glances sometimes because of my tattoos and whatnot but I just don't know if it's worth totally coming out. Actually, I would probably lose my job or be pressured to quit. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat or has any advice?
First of all, you could sue them if they fired you for being gay. That's discrimination. As for your fiance, You really, really need to get this figured out, whether you're going to commit to him or be with women. Does your husband know you swing for both? I'll say this again, you REALLY need to get this figured out, especially when there's children involved. If you think you're attracted only to women, then break it off and be with women, because otherwise if your children have to suffer through a divorce, that's going to be worse than ending it now and being in a stable, long-lasting relationship with another woman. I'd say seek some professional help, especially couples counseling before you tie the knot. There's no shame in going to counseling
Actually, Texas is an at will state so technically you can be fired for anything unless the employer states that they're non-discriminatory. So if you can find out if they are indeed non-discriminatory then you can come out a work.
i completely understand! i'm in a similar situation, where I've been in a long term, committed relationship with my boyfriend, but going into college next year i want to explore the side of me that loves women. I know it may not be as serious as your predicament, but i understand how you feel. i lean towards girls rather than guys, and i'm scared if i stay with my boyfriend that we'll get married after college and i wont have any time to even experiment. im going to try for an open relationship. My boyfriend will still be my main relationship, we just wont be dating exclusively. I'll be honest with him about absolutely everything, and make sure he is 100% okay with it. the way i see it is, i don't want to stay together through all of college in a monogamous relationship, because i will spend the whole time wondering what its like being with a woman. The other option is breaking up, which i would be sad to do because of how much i love him. This is a compromise, and if it doesn't work out then the worst that can happen is we break up, and there would still be potential for us to get back together after I've had my chance to explore myself. I know its not for everyone, but have you considered it? it would take a lot of work, but even if you just talked to him about dating girls before you get married? you would have to talk through it and set rules and make sure you were both comfortable with it. you could maybe just tell him you need to take a while to explore yourself before the wedding and just take a few months to see what happens. its better than getting stuck in a marriage that you dont want to be in, right?
I would agree with Lexi and say you might want to try for an open relationship. That is if you want your cake and want to eat it too.
