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coming out to...well anyone...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by HeyItsThatBrony, Aug 1, 2013.

  1. HeyItsThatBrony

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    please help...I dont know how to come out to anyone...I dont know how to come out to my friends...I dont know how to come out to my (hard core catholic and homophobic) family...and my severe anxiety doesnt help at all.....I really need some help
     
  2. HeyItsThatBrony

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gay
    please help...
     
  3. TyRawr

    Board Member Full Member

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    Hi there,

    First do something for me please, take a deep breath,
    It will be fine, and I promise you that someday you will look back on this and be really happy because it has gotten much better.

    Now as far as coming out, there really isnt a right or wrong, but there are some useful tips I can give you. You should probably not do anything to embarrassing, like get a megaphone and walk down the streets and scream "I like men" but I would be really jealous of your *cahoodspa* if you did.
    Maybe try to think who your very closest and most compassionate friend is, and then think about what that person thinks about gay people. The thing is, we often attract like minded people, and almost 9 out of 10 times friends and family are supportive, even if not at first. As far as the process, you really only have to start the ball rolling, thats the toughest part. Start the convo by saying "Hey ______, there is something really important that I need to tell you, and I seriously really need your support right now on the matter." Or some variation of that. Something that is hard to back out of (to avoid the last minute regrets).

    If you need any one-on-one advice I would be more then happy to answer any questions you may have on my wall.

    Warm regards lovie,
     
  4. TheSeeker

    Full Member

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    OMG... a brony! This is awesome!

    But on a serious note, coming out. Yeah, it does suck and it is likely one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. There's not much rhyme or reason to it, but I can attest to the fact that I have felt loads better since coming out to my friends and family 9 months ago (wow, has it really been that long?).

    Not to badger you, but what is your age? You don't have it posted and, not that it's any of my business, but it does change what advice I would give you. For instance, if you are a 13 and dependent on your parents, then that would be a different ballgame then, say, if you were 26 and financially independent.

    What I will say though is to start with someone that you are SURE will be supportive. I recommend a queer friend, either gender really. The first person I ever came out to was a friend of mine who is a Lesbian and, the important thing isn't that they won't hate you, but that they get it. They've been there before, and they know you. They can advise you what to do next.

    What I did was my LGBT friends first, and then my brother, with whom I am very close. I then took a road trip where I visited all of my best college friends and told them one by one. The coming out process for me took about a month. It ended with telling my parents, and I was very harsh with them, for a variety of reasons. My Mom is rather religious and I essentially told her and Dad that they needed to accept me for who I am (ALL that I am) or that I would walk out and never contact them again. There's a background here that I won't go into (although I you can find that thread if you go through my profile).

    Well, I am rambling. Either way, WELCOME to EC. We will help you however we can, and answer questions for you. This one is pretty broad spectrum, but we can certainly give it a shot.

    Give me some more details to work with though.