I am 54 and just barely out to a few people, one of those being my cousin whom I live with. Now that I've accepted who I am, I am feeling pushed by her to "just tell everyone" and be happy and go on with my life. I don't find it that easy. I have fears. Fears of rejection, fears of abandonment, etc etc. And then I know a few of the people will try to "pray for me, that I can be healed, so I won't be a lesbian anymore". You all probably know those kinds of people. Anyway, I feel like I need to choose when and whom to come out too. My cousin says, "Those who turn their backs on you, didn't really love you anyway, or they wouldn't just walk away." But I don't know. People think differently. I just am not sure the right way to go about this. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to come out to more and more.
Don't take this seriously as I'm only young, Just take it at your own pace, take as long as you like to come out to those you need to. We all know it isn't easy, so that's why we shouldn't force ourselves or let other people force us out of our closet.
To be fair, you should be the one to come out to others, and not put the pressure, if any, onto anyone else. With that said, what you've written in bold... That's not necessarily true. It'd just be a conflict of what someone thinks or believes to be right or wrong versus their view of someone who isn't who they thought they were (Ex. Seeing someone as straight when they've actually been gay). It doesn't mean that you've changed; it means that their perception of you has changed. If they can get themselves to either get over their initial and false view of you and learn to just love you anyways for who you are, or to choose love over prejudice, then that would be ideal. It also can be more common than one might think, but it can take time. As for who to come out to and when and how... That's all up to you. The method may depend on which person you're coming out to. For now, a step to consider may be looking at who is in your life who you'd like to know and who would likely be supportive.
Hmm i think coming out in later LGBT life can be difficult since it would shock most of the people you met and befriend through out your later life. But i would diffidently go with what your cousin said, those who will support you are the ones worth your while and those who will leave you are the ones who aren't really that considerate of you. I think a person shouldn't degrade him/her self for people's rejection. I personally have been accepted by some of my friends but later on found out they weren't that much experienced with having a gay friend or even fully accepting me and trust me i abandoned those who even couldn't co-op much with me even with those who were 80% accepting. Family acceptance matters and it hurts the most i there for recommened choosing those accepting family members wisely but for the rest as People or Friends, people come and go and can be replaced easily so don't give your heart and mind a quake. Mean time good luck, hope my advice helped you
What Wells said a great piece of advice indeed. Coming out, no matter what age, is fraught with all sorts of differing complexities, you need to talk to your cousin and explain you want to do this at your own pace and in your own time and you wished that they could just understand and respect your wishes, and how much you value your cousins support
