Last year I've had my "straight" guy friends all try to get on me. Last night I literally almost did it. However I just freaked out and said hey if I'm gay I'm not giving them the satisfaction of ridiculing me sexually. I denied their offer, got really depressed and texted both parents telling them I was gay. I haven't had a crush or liked a guy I guess. I felt like if I told my parents straight off the bat I would be more open sexually to try stuff out. Bad idea or not? It's already happened but do you think telling them now before I even experiment was a good idea?
I agree, you should be completly sure of your sexuality before you tell your parents, but you don't always have to experiment with others if you don't feel comfortable yet.
Hi there! Well, to know your sexual orientation/identity you don't necessarily have to have experimented. While it can help to figure things out, your attractions and feelings will give you most of the clues. You could have always come out as "I'm questioning" as you don't need to be absolutely sure to come out. Coming out as questioning, can certainly reduce some of the stresses and anxieties associated with figuring things out and then the coming out process itself. That said, how did your parents react? I take it they reacted well?
^^THIS^^ It is not unreasonable when people ask you about your sexuality to say "im not straight". When I was coming out, if you could call it that, people would ask if I liked guys, and I would say, "I think so", and when they would ask if I liked girls I would say, "I dont really know, haven't tried anything with a girl." Because I was so non-attached to the outcome of what they thought, it really liberated me and gave me time to experiment. However, looking back on the early indicators, I only watched gay porn, only ever fantasized about guys, and when I fantasized about women I only fantasized about a wife and kids and the american dream, and I fell into sooooo many stereotypes it wasn't funny. I dont think it was a bad thing to say that to your parents, I think that you should probably do some soul searching and talk to them a little more in depth in person, but really, just do things at your own pace.
My mom was accepting. She said I always have felt left out so I'm going to the gay community to be accepted. My dad said I'm a normal guy, been girl crazy. I should say I thought I was gay bc my friend tried to come at me. But I honestly just think I've been conditioned my whole life on not being gay and this plays a role in not actually being attracted to guys
I'm glad that your parents were accepting, and supportive. Suppressing your true feelings because of social pressure and/or fears can have an impact on how you feel about your sexual orientation/identity. I would suggest that you continue exploring your feelings and try to understand your attractions.
The real, important thing here is not whether or not you come out or don't at this stage, but understanding yourself. It sounds like there's some ambiguity about whether or not you have feelings for guys so you can explore that without experimenting. If you start paying attention to where your attractions lie, that will give you a good idea. Do you look at guys or girls when you're walking down the street/at the beach / at a pool? Do you think about guys or girls when you masturbate (without porn)? These are pretty good indicators of where your attractions lie, and as you start to pay attention to that, it will give you a clearer picture. There are plenty of gay guys who never ones experimented with a girl and just knew they were gay... and plenty of straight guys who never had to experiment with a guy to know they were straight. And of course, you can experiment and see where it takes you as well... but that isn't a necessity. Whatever you do, please play safe and use condoms if you do anything involving anal sex.
Hi whatsgoinon! How are you? Before telling anyone what's your sexual orientation, you should be sure about it. You don't need to experiment to be sure: most people just know what gender they like by physical and romantical attraction, even without experimenting. Why don't you just say you are still discovering your sexual orientation before anything? Well, when you know for sure what's your sexual orientation, don't be ashamed of that! Be yourself and just tell to who you love if you want! Good luck!
