I've been quiet for a while sorting myself out, accepting that I'm gay - basically just trying to live my life staying true to myself and trying really hard not to come out before the end of highschool. (while I'm still dependant on my parents I don't want to give them reason to make my life difficult) But I am feeling really frustrated. I'm trying to get over this girl (I consider her a very good friend and really beautiful) without losing her friendship. We had a week off from school a while back and I isolated myself in the hope that these feelings would go away and they did; but a few days ago just sitting close to her I had these thoughts of, "Damn you're beautiful" and "I wish you're gay" etc. I've always promised myself that as soon as I get over my feelings for her and if I am still 100% certain that I am gay I would come out to my friends, yet that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon. We're part of this really tight group of friends. We are planning to go away together for matric-holidays and only two of them know about me being gay. They are both cool with it (but they're the most liberal in the group) one of them even started teasing me at the most awkward times:lol: Sholud I come out to the whole group? I've had a few chances before and did not take them. Like this one time when we were all together at a friends house one friend who wasn't following the conversation heard that "I will kiss *friend's name*" instead of "I wil sue *friends name*" The truth (and the humor) got lost in translation. I just ended up blusing and one of my friends who knows and heard the whole conversation came to my rescue. It was the perfect chance to come out without making a big deal of it. I am deffinately not getting another chance like that... I want to tell them but don't want things to be weird between us. They're a serious bunch so I'm not sure coming out too casually is a good idea, but I don't want to make a big deal out of it. I'm thinking of getting a rainbow bracelet and just start wearing it when we go out. Plz help! PS. Any tips on how to get over someone without runing a friendship would be very much appreciated too!
Hello I can totally relate to this :O First of, see, the whole 'figuring out who I truly am' is a phase I've been going through for the past months and it just became clearer and clearer until I could not lie to myself anymore. Since I can't really put a label on how my feeling works, I just decided to come out as Bisexual to my friends this very last month. Besides, there is this very close friend of mine who I've had feelings for (getting stronger and stronger). And this sort of helped me admitting it to myself. Sure, I'd had crushes on girls before, and it had always been there, lying underneath, although I'd only admitted it to one of those games at a part. Once. Or twice. Anyway, yeah. They just don't wear off until you start accepting them as they are, I think, and learn to deal with it (as in 'being quite content of what you're feeling and accepting the impossibility that something is going to happen'). Cause yeah, that friend of mine, as yours, is straight :/ (Sadly though x) ) Anyway, I also had opportunities at parties and games when I could've came out. And I partly did, but they dropped the idea rather soon, honestly. And it's good, because if you slip it in a game, it means you're not comfortable enough, and it could create drama around, be overwhelming, etc. So, my advice is. You should wait until you're sure about your feelings. Just take a look back. If you're into girls in general, you must know if you are honest with yourself. So, this means, facing it, truly and objectively. You're only talking to yourself while doing this, do not think of the consequences. If you end up with the impression that it's just for her - which is very possible (I've come to the conclusion that I'm mostly lesbian, but I had strong and honest feelings for one guy), so, well.. It's ok. I told my straight friend about the recent crush I had on her. And I told friends we have in common, too. And while I was at it, I came out with the whole thing to every single of my closest friends (Which is 5 people). I survived. I feel at my best. I feel happier in my heart, for once, I do not need to overthink "why am I not into that person that everyone loves ?'. I do wish you clarity of mind, luck and courage for this !
