Two weeks ago my boyfriend sent me a text message saying he needed to talk with me now. I drove over to his house and we talked. He told me he thought it would be better if we were just friends (in short he dumped me) :icon_sad: . As the night went on we talked and I was sad and overwhelmed by my lingering feelings for him. I don't remember how exactly it happened, but we ended up kissing and he told me he was sorry for what he said and that he was just stressed out and he wanted to get back together. Things got physical and after it was over he dumped me again. I felt so used, but for some reason I still liked him. We talked some more and he jokingly agreed to help me find another boyfriend to make up for what he did. After some time past I started to get over him. Every time I saw him I gave him the cold shoulder. Then one week ago I met someone I'll refer to him as Dave. He is gorgeous and we have a lot in common. The problem is that I am not sure if he likes me or if he just wants to be friends. Last friday Dave invited me to go to a small garage band concert that one of his friends had invited him to go to. Later that day after Dave had left I ran into my old boyfriend. I decided to stop giving him the cold shoulder and started talking with him again. When he accused me of not keeping my promise of staying friends I jokingly accused him of not fixing me up like he promised he would. He then quickly responded back to me that he had actually been doing a lot of work looking for someone who he thought would work for me and that I would meet him on tuesday. Without taking too much time explaining I am going to meet him at a youth center. Dave is also going to be there as well. Dave doesn't know about my ex setting me up and my ex doesn't know much about Dave. Dave keeps sending me mixed signals. One minute I swear he likes me the other minute I think he just wants to be friends. He has told me about his dream guy and in short it isn't me. I know I shouldn't try to hold myself to the standards of a fantasy, but the problem is (and I am going to just be blunt about this) I think he wants a top and I am a bottom. I just don't know what I should do if I take my ex up on his offer and check the guy out I could alienate Dave and make him think that I am not interested in him. But if I turn down my ex's offer and just hang out with Dave then I risk passing up a good opportunity to be with someone who I believe will probably just end up turning me down because I'm not what he is looking for. I feel like there is a ticking clock and I have to chose now do I go with someone I don't know or someone who I feel will probably turn me down. I have a good feeling tuesday is going to either be an amazing day or a very :***:y one.
Yeah I agree here. It's the best way to go about. Once you know that it should set things straight. Good luck with it.
Not everything has to be a sitcom. Why not tell Dave what's going on? Just say "Yeah, my ex- sort of dumped me a few weeks ago, and he felt kind of bad about it afterwards, so he wants me to meet some guy here tonight." Say it in sort of a bemused fashion, as if to say "whatever". Dave's response should give you a better idea on how he feels about it. If he seems a bit hurt or rejected, that's your open. You can then say, "Not to worry. I'll just be polite and meet him. I actually would rather spend time with you." Lex
^ Exactly! Just be honest! What do you have to lose by doing that?!? Life's way too short to play guessing games - odds are you DON'T know what the other person is thinking, so stop pretending that you do!
