Sigh....I can't get anyone. I feel so depressed. I don't know if it is because thier aren't many gay guys where I live, or if I'm just not wanted by anyone. I mean there are gay kids at my school, but I either don't know any of them or they are my friends but they aren't interested. It sucks! Like one is named Cody, and I really want him. He told me he is straight, but that is bullshit. I really care for him, but he is not interestes in me....sigh. How does everyone find guys? I hear all these stories about gay love stories, but I can't get a single guy.
This is every persons problem. No one wants to wait for love, no one wants to work for it and no one can think rationally when it comes to a hot body No one here can give you advise unless they know you very well but we can ask you construction questions. What do you expect from people compared to what you expect you should do is the first mistake, NEVER EVER wait for people to come to you! Take the initiative and go to them first. How do people perceive you? Do you actually appear gay in others eyes, NOT your own? Do people KNOW you are interested in other guy's, specially the guys you're interested in? Are you confident in yourself? Do you project availability? Where do you look for guys and what kind of guys are you looking for? And as for this Cody guy well honestly dude that's a bit stupid because if you think about it. I mean really think. If he says he's not gay then nothing is going to happen (sure you might get him really drunk and have sex but thats it), it DOES NOT MATTER if a person is gay straight bi whatever, UNLESS they tell you themselves then their either not interested in you or aren't ready to be with someone.
I can't get a guy either, it totally blows. I just keep my head up though, and seek out guys who share something in common with myself. Eventually I'll find someone, and you will too. It also helps that I'm bi, so I welcome girls into the equation, even though I do not actively seek them out. There is a girl who just started working at my hookah bar that I'm kind of into. She's bisexual, probably into girls more, but I can just imagine what we could do if we went out, and the swinging that could be possible. I like girls and guys and so does she, so that could make for some interesting, rather sexy nights. What I'm getting at with that is while I wasn't really seeking a girlfriend, she may have already presented herself in a random real-life situation. And she looks like a boy so thats a huge plus too
I love reading problems like yours, Lac. Not because I take pleasure in your pain or anything, but because they show how far we've come. Back in my day, back in my school, I couldn't have gotten a guy either. (I wasn't even looking, to be honest - I thought I was straight at the time.) If it had been known that I was looking for a guy, I would've had at least half the football team beating me up after school and between classes every day. Hell, they probably would've beaten me up DURING class, with the full support of a good chunk of the teaching staff. And I wouldn't be surprised if some parents started a campaign to get that "bad influence" kicked out of school. To now read problems like "None of the gay kids in my school want to be my boyfriend"...it's like I'm on another planet. And a lot nicer one. I don't say all this to minimize your problem - just to provide a bit of context for it. This problem isn't confined to gay students. Many many straight students have trouble finding someone to date. I think it has a lot to do with just being a teenager. That's when you're given the equipment, but not the owner's manual. You'll notice a lot of relationships at school seem a lot rockier than ones you see in older folks. That's because that's the time the training wheels come off. There's a lot of fumbling around, a lot of very happy faces, a lot of wobbling, and a lot of scraped knees. (Hm. Don't read too much into that last bit. ) Getting a boyfriend ain't easy. Keeping a boyfriend is even tougher. I'll teach you something that I find myself teaching older folks all the time, and it's a lesson that hopefully everyone can take to heart. Boyfriends aren't found. They're built. A lot of people - young and old alike - say they want a boyfriend. In essence, it's like they're walking around with their arm around an invisible person, with a sign saying "insert boyfriend here". But that's not how it works. Instead, you go out. You meet people. You find someone you click with. Not someone you think is hot (necessarily). What good is a hot guy if you can't even carry on a two-minute conversation with him? (Please, smartasses, don't answer that! ) Instead, you find someone you can relate to. Someone you feel comfortable being yourself around. If he's not gay, not available, or not interested, he'll probably make a great friend. Cool. Leave him in the friend category. If he's all three, then you start building. It takes time, effort, a bit of sacrifice. But the creation is totally worth it. My advice to you - and all in your position - is this. Stop. At least, stop looking simply and solely for a boyfriend. Just get to know people. ALL people. Male, female, gay, straight. Make more friends. And eventually, one of them will be the obvious choice. Lex
^More great advice. I picture that gargoil sitting atop a high mountain - doling out the advice from there! Thanks Lex!
Lex is a professional advice giver. He's gonna start asking for some of that internet money soon...:icon_bigg Lacri, I don't have any advice on how to get guys interested in you..but it might be comforting for you to know that I'm pretty sure there are tons of people who feel just like you (Myself included!). Also I think it's good that you're only 16 and looking for someone...I finished high school and most of college as a hermit. So I'd like to believe your chances of finding someone are really high since you're out there.
lex covered all that i could think of and more. he's right about going out and meeting people. that way you end up with people who could become friends and if you work hard enough maybe a boyfriend will come out of it.
