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What hints should I drop around my parents?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by person57, Aug 4, 2013.

  1. person57

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    What hints should I drop around my parents to make them think or know that I'm gay. I don't think I can tell them directly because I'm way too scared and nervous to.
     
  2. ron IL

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    same here I think you should be on this site on coming out advice and leave your computer open in the kitchen I'm sure your parents want be able to resist and when they see what you were searching for they will now....
     
  3. LinkLarkin

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    Try talking about any piece of LGBT news that comes up. I mentioned Russia arresting gay citizens to my mum a couple of times, don't know whether she understood, then I tried to say something about gay marriage yesterday but chickened out. But knowing that you're particularly interested in LGBT news, especially if you don't often talk about world news with your parents, is sure to set alarm bells ringing.

    Also try saying how you admire certain gay celebrities, or watch a lot of shows/films that they star in.
     
  4. FucSoc

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    I read here about someone who asked his parents to buy him a pride/rainbow bracelet from the internet, it worked for him :slight_smile:
    His mom realized he's gay and told his father
     
  5. kesmi

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    Umm, I am kind of effeminate, but that's just my personality, and I think my mom notices it, becaude I watch Fashion Police, I help her choose her clothes, and stuff like that!
    I am afraid of coming out to my parents, too, I am hoping my mom comes and asks me haha
    I live in Brasil, and there's a soap opera that the main character came out of the closets, and he was so similar to me, I want to go to the psychologist, I've been bullyied, I thought my mom was gonna ask me, because she saw the pain the character was because he was inside the closets, but she didn't, but soon I'll tell her!
     
  6. DatGurl53

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    What I did is my style changed a little. I play same love by Macklemore and leave it on repeat in my room sometimes. The backround of my phone and laptop are both rainbows. My mom made a comment the other day about if same sex marriage was legal and I gave her the date of when it was passed in Canada and informed her about how America is coming around really quick. On Netflix it shows the recent things you've watched so I would watch the L word on Netflix so when my parents would log in it would pop up and say "Do you want to continue watching the L word" they have other LGBTQ movies / shows to. Know the date of pride week in your city and if anyone asks you what you want to do that week be like "Well we can't go downtown because it's gay pride week but we can ....ect" when ever a movie comes on ill do this. So if it's the new Spiderman with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone I'll say " Oh my god I loooovve Emma Stone she's just amazing!" And then completely ignore the fact that Andrew Garfield is there. I watch Ellen a lot not to be stereotypical I actually just love the show and have since I was like 2 but I found a clip of one of the episodes where Wanda Sykes was on the show ( Is also gay) and I showed it to my mom and was like " This is so funny I really like all there views on life ". If your a guy you could go with an episode of Neil Patrick Harris talking about being gay and how he and his husband are raising their kids. You could watch it while your near someone in your family, so they can hear it . If they ask why your watching it say it was on the most popular list on YouTube and were just wondering what it was.I feel like footwear is a good one , for instance I'm in highschool and I buy my shoes in the men's section of Winners not to drop as a hint but I generally love the shoes there. You could buy Tom's. NOTHING IS A BIGGER HINT THAN A GUY WEARING TOMS I'm sorry but it's a true fact and all of my female and male friends agree. One guy I know wears Tom's and everyone will ask me if he's gay and I'll say well Idk and they usually respond with "But he's wearing Tom's"
     
  7. Boyfriend

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    If you can´t tell your parents, who can you tell?
    They raised you, they KNOW you.
    They probably already know and are just waiting until you come out.

    You could write a letter.
    That way, you are ot there for the first reaction and they get time to get back to you about it.

    What do you expect from hints?
    I think that is a weird way of coming out to parents. Especially because they probably already know and won´t react to hints anyway.
    Or it has to be a hint like:"You want to get to know my boyfriend?" Or "Can i invite my boyfriedn for dinner" or something....
     
  8. AwesomGaytheist

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    Well what I ended up doing was when my dad would ask me if I was interested in any girls, I would totally deflect the question. I'd just say "well..." and start talking about how i hated relationship drama and blah blah blah, and just not answer the question. I don't know if he got it, but I do suspect he knows I'm gay and that he's just not going to say anything to me about it.
     
  9. drwinchester

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    I didn't do hint dropping when I first came out as a "lesbian"- my parents took my phone after grounding me and went through my emails, learning about my partner in the process.

    So that's one. I'm doing the hint dropping thing for my gender. I'm sure my mom's noticed the ever growing collection of guy clothes in my closet and sooner or later, I'll probably be careless enough to leave my manuscripts lying around with a male penname...
     
  10. leer

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    what about just having a rainbow poster in your bedroom if you have your own room that is. mention that you support gay rights
     
  11. Randy

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    I just talk with my hands WAY more often. I just talked about DOMA the day part of it got struck down (although my mom told me something that pissed me off and ultimately shut me up)
     
  12. crickett

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    First, if you cannot tell them directly, I understand that. Write a letter. As someone else stated bring up LGBT news. I know that marriage equality has been big issue here in Texas. I know that is like abortion topic. However, it would get the discussion going.
    Good Luck!
     
  13. Shipper

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    I agree with Boyfriend. Dropping hints is kind of like being passive aggressive. Unless they are too busy to even pay attention, you've probably been dropping hints by just being you.

    When I came out to my parents, I told my dad first, almost assuming he would tell my mom. His reaction was like -blink blink- oh. ..okay. :confused: He ended up not telling my mom, so about a week later I pulled her aside and told her. She wondered if it was a phase, she kept asking me over a period of time if I still liked girls, are you sure your not bi-curious? Until after a few years, I just told her straight up, and after that she just accepted it, and supports me.
     
  14. greenthumb95

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    I need help coming out, can anyone help me? Shipper? Need a female perspective on things. Thanks!
     
  15. Lewis

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    In in the same boat as most people here. I can't physically bring myself to speak to my parents about it, so I want to throw them some subtle hints.

    Pretty much everyone knows apart from my parents now, which is really upsetting because I'd have liked to have told them first. I just couldn't bare keeping it to myself any longer...
     
  16. Britishskittles

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    My dad either knows or is completely in denial , my family friends who I see once like a girl worked it out so he must know I mean I have a rainbow belt some rainbow bracelets , i never talk about boys , i have said i don't wanna get married in a church and i wanna adopt children , before my mum died she found out so she must of told him i assume , my youtube and Netflix history comes up on the computer, i have a large amount of gay friends and i go on about how i love brighton. Then again i things hes hinted at me that he knows he took me to see the kids are alright , black swan (i went bright red) and he said in the past do you want to tell me something when i have said i don't wanna get married in a church. I wish he could just ask me
     
  17. Lunarchy

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    Everyone seemed to know I was gay before I did. I spent all my time reading yuri, and talking about how much I admired the female form, and yet denied constantly that I might be gay, so when I finally finished my journey of self discovery and realized I was gay, nobody was really surprised...

    Anyway, as for hints to drop, just stop trying to hide it. Act as if they already know, and eventually they will figure it out ^)^

    AND if they say anything, just say... "Oh, I thought it was obvious..."
     
  18. There are a few ways. The most subtle is probably to talk more about LGBT rights and leave it on your computer history. Maybe watch some shows with LGBT characters, or talk about celebs that may be gay/bi/trans. You can also change your FB "interested in" To interested in males, or just leave it completely blank.

    If you wanna be more out there, maybe search gay porn and leave it on the history. I know that is kind of bad advice but it kind of worked for me (long story)! Or make sure you get caught with a guy...Good luck!
     
  19. sammy1

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    I deflect that question everytime when my parents or grand parents ask if i have seen any guys i like and everytime it gets harder to lie about. I think my parents pretty much know by now that im not into guys but they havnt directly asked me if im gay. Just yesterday i asked if weddings r a fun thing to attend because we r going to one really soon and dad said: they r fun sometimes, lots of single guys...or girls..whatever u r into, no judgement!' Lol aqward!
     
  20. Lindsey23

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    I like the idea of dropping hints. I think that could really soften the blow for when they figure it out or if you outright tell them. Maybe start listening to music by gay artists? Queen, Tegan and Sara...

    Researching gay news topics on your computer would be good too because a lot of parents are snoopy and will check your browser history.