I've been having so many problems with my mom...when I first told her I was gay she cried for hours. Literally hours. Time has passed and she has become more and more rude about it. But her newest thing hurt me the most. She said that if I want to keep living with her I have to pretend I'm straight, or else she will, "have to find you a new place to live." I feel so depressed....why does she have to be like this? I hate it so much.
Oh my gosh Lacri, I'm so sorry she's still behaving like this. (*hug*) I hope one day she will come to her senses and stop hurting you. Is there family members who can talk to you about how her behavior?
Parents, right or wrong, tend to draw up plans for their children. They fantasize about your perfect report cards, your winning touchdown, your prom date, your valedictorian speech, your wedding. Many parents are prepared to have some of those fantasies revised - maybe you're just getting Bs, and you're on the debate team instead of the football squad. Most can make that adjustment. (Some can't, and keep pushing their kids back onto the football field.) But more have trouble adjusting to the whole "gay thing". Especially if they don't have much contact or experience with homosexuality. For some, the first thing they think of is their son dressed in a leather thong at the end of a huge muscle daddy's chain. And that totally derails things. What can you do? A few things. You can print out and suggest (but only suggest) that she read some PFLAG material. As far as "pretending you're straight", that's going to be interesting. What does that entail exactly? Saying "nice rack" when a woman shows up on TV? You might see if your mother is willing to reach a bit of a compromise. Tell her that you're aware that your sexuality is freaking her out, and so promise not to make it an issue. Say, "If you don't want to hear about it all, I can understand that. I won't bring it up anymore if it's that bothersome to you." And then do that. Don't mention "my boyfriend" to her, or talk to your friends in her presence about how cute that guy down at the mall is. It's not ideal, but sometimes we've gotta take non-ideal situations and do the best we can with them. Lex
I'd also suggest you talk to another (more supportive) family member and see what they have to say. Otherwise, just lay low. If your mother wants to pretend that you're gay, then I suppose you can let her do that. As long as it's just her in denial, and not you. I'm not really sure what that means either - to pretend that you're straight. Good luck with that.
Yeah, it doesn't make much sense, trying to act straight. Pretty much all of my family members are christians, so that wouldn't work out talking to them. My friend's mom is lesbian, and that is nice when I can hang out with her family. They all are really helpfull...
Just because somebody is Christian, don't lump them all in the same category as your mother. There are plenty of Christians who do act like Jesus and don't turn their backs on their gay and lesbian loved ones.
Becky nailed the idea. Again. The thing is that you won't really ever know how they will react until you tell them. Now, since they are christians, make sure you show them that bieng gay doesn't mean you're engaging unportected sex "50 times a day with a couple of guys over 40" as most of the people believe gay teens do. Make them realize you are responisble of your sexuality and that you are the same person they know since before. At the end, God condems bad actions, and being gay is not a bad action itself - what you do with it is what counts. Try to avoid such things as if God loves Gays and stuff: they won't change their mind easily. Just show them you're still the same guy and that you are telling them because you love them and because you need help. At the end, you didn't stole a car, or killed someone! Good luck buddy. -Jean.
I know exactly whee you're coming from. It's not an easy thing to deal with, but try to not let it get to you! (that's not to say that you should ignore the problem) If you ever need to vent, or just want to talk, feel free to PM me anytime! Good luck! (*hug*) -BreTt
