I have fallen for a good friend of mine. I'm sure she suspects I'm gay or bi since I never really carry on any talk when she says this guy or that is cute but would be better for me cause he's closer for my age. Yet she never carries it on either. I've seen her with any guys. The majority of her friends are single strong independent women. She is 15 years older than myself and we work together. Can you say complicated. I've hinted that she's beautiful and she seems to find that flattering. We are pretty close but there's always that awkward tension between us when we get close or hit surtain topics. Trying to figure out if I should persue, back away and carry on friends or at least let her know how I feel and find out if she's there too???
Get to know her better, become closer friends and see if you can tell whether she accepts bis and gays If you find out that she does accept, then perhaps tell her Good luck
Why put your emotions and energy into a "love match" which at the very best is with a very closeted person? At worst an emotional investment with someone who cannot respond to it. Nothing can burn a gay person as well as a closeted person scrambling to protect their lie or a straight person who allows a false flirtation. Are you sabotaging what you want?
I think I would try to get closer to her as friends first. Build a good relationship based on friendship. Then I would try to determine her views or feelings on the LGBT community. Through doing this, I think you should be able to get a good perspective on what she feels about you. And if you want, you can bring it up with her. Just keep in mind, that if she doesn't feel the same way as you do, things may become awkward between you. You have to determine if you want to risk that. But remember, there is always the possibility that she feels the same way. So, in a nutshell, just stay her friend for now and play it by ear. That's what I would do. Good luck with everything!
If you're good friends, maybe the smart move would be to take just the first step - come out to her. Frame it in a context of "we're gotten to be good friends, so I think I can trust you with this information". Her response to that might give you a much better clue whether or not she's gay/bi, and whether or not she's interested in you. Lex
yes and continuing lex's thoughts if it turns out she's not....don't say anything. Quite frankly it's kinda inappropriate and it could damage any relationship even between heterosexuals. Even more so if you have different sexual orientations. It's never a good idea to fall for a straight person and it's an even worse idea to tell them. If,although, she is bi/gay/experimenting/questioning or whatever, you could tell her if you judge that you could/should and see how she reacts to that. At any case,good luck to you and stay strong!! ) john
Thank you for all the advice. I will work on the whole coming out idea first. And we will go from there.
