I've been struggling for ages with feeling like im in the wrong body, & that i like women (altho the sexuality side of things, i think most ppl who meet me figure out quickly - i guess i fit some kinda stereotype..). Im on a psych waiting list *yawn*, but have started seeing a counsellor because, well, my boss has forced me to - my confidence is terrible, its affecting my work, so he wants that sorted, he doesnt know about the gender stuff. I told the counsellor last wk that i like women - she said she already knew that without me saying anything (which to be honest pissed me off, its not like i go aroudn with it printed on my shirt!). I kinda want to tell her everything, but the thought makes me sick. Everythings making me sick actually. the keeping everything inside is making me feel sick, but the thought of telling anyone makes me ill too. & its getting worse & worse to the point where im just sleeping all the time - case & point - the Edinburgh Fringe has just started. I bloody love it, spend loads of time there usually. So far iv bought no tickets & barely looked at the show guide. Id rather just avoid the world. I was meant to see my counsellor tonight but iv cancelled because i feel like hell. & thats another thing - my mum knows im seeing a counsellor (again, thinks its for purely about confidence/self esteem issues) but iv not told my dad. mum is now feeling awkward about this, so im gonna tell my dad tonight. but telling them the real deal? about who i really am? I need that to happen soon, but i literally dont have the balls.. Its holding back my whole life & im gonna give myself a flipping aneurysm if im not careful..
sigh You should not cancel your appointments with the counselor because you feel bad. This is the best time to see her... Does the therapist have experiences with gender issues? Do you think that coming out to your parents will help you feel better? Or would their reaction (if it is not the best one) make you feel even worse?
I think my mum would be ok with it. Dad wouldn't. I am actually ill - if dizziness, exhaustion & throwing up count as ill. Probably due to stress. . Im not sure if shes got knowledge of gender issues or not.
Definitely do not stop seeing your counselor-this is the time you need her. Tell her what is going on, and she will understand and probably give you good advice. As far as your parents go, talk about how you support LGBT rights and drop hints. After doing this, if you feel like your mom would be accepting, tell her the truth. Perhaps she could help you talk to your dad. Good luck!
Tonight i told my Da that iv been seeing a counsellor - for help with my anxiety/stress etc (because that's the basis for me seeing her in first place). He was less than pleased.
OK. first things first. Come out of the freaking closet. Don't wait for the right moment. Thinking about will make you nervous. Second is that you shouldn't make a big deal out of it.
I have been getting this as well, I have been having stomach problems and I just can't take it, I so wanna tell my parents, but, you know, I'm not sure how they'll take it.
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time with this. You are not in an easy situation. I do have a few thoughts that I hope are helpful. Well, the first is really a question. Are you comfortable with your counselor? I am in therapy too and I've learned that being comfortable and being able to connect with your therapist is the most important thing in therapy. If you are going to get better you need to be able to open up to her. If you feel you are not connecting with her you need to find someone else. Therapy is not easy, I have wanted to cancel sessions so I understand. But it is important for you to go. If you are with the right therapist, this will help you. But you need to be consistent. It is also disrespectful to her to cancel when you are able to go. She set aside time for you and you need to be there. I think you should tell her about you gender identity issues. Counselors/therapists have studied and been trained for this sort of thing. She should be accepting of whatever you have to say. I know that's easier said than done. I saw my therapist for 9 months before I was able to tell her I'm attracted to women. And believe me, I was sweating when I told her. I was scared to go back too but our last few sessions have been normal so I'm not afraid anymore. Counselors are the best people to tell because they are trained to be non-judgmental. Tell her before you tell your parents. She should be able to give you some good ideas on how you can tell your parents. Don't worry about what your dad thinks about you seeing a counselor. It's none of his business. If he brings it up or tries to make you feel bad about it just change the subject. So many people who need therapy don't get it because of the stigma. I know that I needed it for years before I sought it out and I'm glad I finally did. One more thing, have you heard of Brene Brown? Someone else on this site mentioned her. She's a researcher/psychologist who studies shame. She has a TED Talk about shame and has written a few books. One of her books, "I Thought it was Just Me (But it Isn't)" really helped me come out to my therapist. I hope this helps. And remember, you are not the only person struggling with these issues. Keep coming to EC. We are here to support each other.
I didn't WANT to cancel my appointment! - would yis like it written in me own blood or summat, engraved on me gravestone maybe?? The counsellor is alright, only seen her once. Because i see her through an employee health programme i get to see her 6 times for free. I'll see how it goes.
