A friend of mine may in fact be gay

I volunteered at the Salvation Army for about 3 years now; however I am not very religious, I am an Atheist, and I only go there just to help out and do good for the community, I could give less of an issue of the religious aspect of it, but that's of course not why I am posting right now. I am posting because I think a friend of mine who is a fellow volunteer; might in fact be gay.

My friend, let's call him L; is not a volunteer there, he WORKS there; he drives the truck to pick up donations (I usually go along with him), he is the janitor, he usually does the more menial work and does not really do much for the help other than pick up and drop off said donations. He is an older man, veteran of the Korean War; he was from South Korea and was pretty high up there in the ranks, Black Ops level so to speak; so he is pretty tough. L also speaks very little English and does not form grammatically correct sentences and they tend to sound rather incomplete or simple.

He gets paid well too, sometimes in between stops, he usually pulls over into his house which is pretty nice and big I might add, he also is very strong and shocks me when he does something crazy, like lifting two whole bags of onions ontop of his shoulders, and the man is 62! When my grandfather was 62, he was already at that point where he'd be a stereo-typical old man! But anyways, I think that is enough information about him, time to go with my reasons.

When I first joined there, I was greeted by L by my mom who also volunteers there, and the first thing he said to me was; "This your son? VERY HANDSOME! " I took it off as simple complimentary because he seemed like a nice man. But over time I noticed how often he does that, in fact; he also questions ME if certain men are handsome, like this one time I was in the truck with him and he points to another elderly man in the car next to us and says; "WOWWWW! Handsome man, right?" he even asked me if G (another friend and volunteer who comes with us) is handsome, I'd usually reply with I guess, and I figured he'd be just doing it because of him being; you know, Complimentary.

But all this became so clear to me when I started to question myself as well and I noticed that L does it quite often, more often than not really. He also has a wife, and this could be me and my lack of knowledge towards the Koreans right here but; he almost NEVER spends too much time with his wife who is the cook there and is nice enough to cook us lunch after we get back, usually it is Korean food, but I don't mind. One time during the volunteer appreciation luncheon, he refused to sit with his wife, which to me does not sound like Korean Tradition because she wanted him to, just by the look on her face, I felt sad for both of them. Another thing to note, when G spots a woman pedestrian, we'd both say "look at that!", basically we'd noticed her but L would not, and I'd usually call him and say "L" and he'd go "Uh? OH! YES! BEAUTIFUL! VERY BEAUTIFUL!" He also has to go to the church at least every other Sunday just to keep his job because the TSA is a religious organization.

Basically

- says men are handsome alot
- doesn't spend too much time with wife
- bad marriage as clear as day
- works for religious organization which looks down on homosexuality
- does not notice women very often

I could be overreacting because of my limited knowledge of Korean culture, and this could just simple be a part of it, but I cannot help but think he could be gay. Those 5 reasons alone are enough to suspect something, and I am not alone on this; Suzie (another volunteer that my mom hangs around with I told all of this of course) and she noticed it too. She told my mom, but she denies it and she only had exposure to the stereo-typical homosexuality, so she cannot see it because of how tough he is, I for one notice it.

 

I know, but he might not tell me the truth because he works for a religious organization, if he is gay; it'll be until his retirement is when he'll probably shed SOME light on the subject. And from what I can tell; there does not seem to be an issue with the wife, but and issue with him. It is her that expects a kiss everynow and again, or a simple thank you to her for cooking, but he does nothing for her.

---------- Post added 5th Aug 2013 at 10:51 AM ----------

I agree, but if he is; it is sad that he has to literally lie about himself just to keep his job.

 

It's not something I'd like to confront him about, it could be uncomfortable, and it just sort of slipped out when Suzie heard, and I do not think there is any discrimination; but then again; so much I do not know from the inside work.