I'm a FtM boy and already came out to some friends (not even 10 of them, but ok). But I really want to say to my dad I'm trans, but I just can't! He isn't transphobic and he would be very supportive, but how would I tell him? I actually wrote a 'coming out letter', but I still didn't give it. I'm planning on showing it to him today, but... I'm so insecure! And how should I do it? Give it to him and stay there watching him read it? Sorry for my bad English, when I'm nervous I suddenly forget everything I know! Haha. Anyway, please, someone talk to me so I can be brave enough to do it...
Hi, if I was a parent of a trans* kid (no matter how old), I am not sure if I wanted to get a letter. A talk would be nicer. Do you know if your father knows a lot about the issue? Or do you think that he will be lost and possibly scared? In that case you could start slowly and come out sort of gradually - talking about the subject more, leaving hints, answering his questions. It would be perhaps nice to say that you haven't changed and inside you is the same person. You won't think differently after coming out or after transition and you will always be the same kid he knows. Tell him that it's not easy but you are not scared (if that is true) and that you are happy. It could make him worry a bit less. Good luck
Hi, Nick(?)! How are you? My father is not the person who knows ALL about LGBT* stuff, but he knows quite a lot. His brother-in-law is gay and so is his cousin, but I don't think he has any trans* friends or relatives... However, his wife said one day she would love me don't matter what, even if I was straight, bi, lesbian or trans*, and my father seemed to agree. Thank you so much for your advice! I feel so much confident right now! But do you really think the letter is a bad idea? =/ Hugs, Alex.
The letter is not a bad idea; if you are not comfortable or not able to talk to your dad face-to-face, then the letter is a way to open up yourself to him. I could see how a face-to-face conversation might be a little more personal, but you might not be comfortable with that. Whichever way works best for you is the way you should go. P.S. Do not worry about your English, I am a native speaker and I still mess up all the time! whatever gets your point across
Hello! First I must say your English is very good for not being a native speaker. And, I love your avatar picture! I love Lady Gaga! Anyway, I do think that the letter idea is good. I came out as a lesbian to my mom in a letter and it went very well. Letters allow the person reading it time to think it over. If you do go with the letter idea, make sure you follow up with your dad in person after he has read it. This way, you can talk about how you both are feeling, and discuss any questions that come up. Good luck with everything!!
TacoswithJuan: Thank you very much for the advice! Yes, I'm very uncomfortable with talking face-to-face, even if it's a simple conversation =/ (I have Aspergers, wich makes my life way more complicated) Thanks, have a good day! FloatingPiano:Hi, thank you very much! It's cool to find Little Monsters on the internet. Lady Gaga is awesome! I'm very glad that everything went well with your mother! It must be horrible to not be accepted! (My mum won't accept me, so I'm getting ready to a negative reaction that will come when I tell her everything...) Thank you very much, good evening! Nick07:Oh, I understand! I will show the letter AND talk with him, I think. Thank you very much! ---------- Post added 5th Aug 2013 at 08:11 PM ---------- Guys, I really appreciate the help, thank you one more time! Now it's 8:11 pm and I really want to talk with him about it at this moment, but my grandparents are here
Hello! I also love Lady Gaga! As to the topic at hand, I would say to give him the letter if you're not comfortable talking to him about it face-to-face. I agree with one of the posts above that the letter will give him time to think about this before he talks to you. Maybe leave it on his desk or something so he can find it when you are at school. That way he has the whole day to think of what to say to you and to deal with his emotions (not necessarily bad emotions, but it will still be a very intense moment regardless). When you come home, he and you can have a discussion about it. Otherwise if you want to wait, maybe just drop hints, like saying you support LGBT rights and things like that. Whatever you decide, good luck!
lovethendudes:Hello, how are you? Thank you so much for the advice! (And for making me smile, another person who likes Gaga!) But I came out yesterday. My dad and stepmother were so supportive, I'm so happy I could die :') But thanks for everything!
oh, congratulations!!!!! I wish people around me were that supportive. Enjoy the new chapter of your life
Thank you. So, what is the plan now? Will you offer your parents to call you by a different name? Will you change the way you dress? Was there something you needed to hide and now you don't need to?
You're welcome! Yes! We decided a name together and they are using male pronouns. My wardrobe it's full of men clothes already (I always liked men clothes. Everybody just tought I was a masculine girl). I will get my hair short soon (it isn't so long, but I need a haircut ) and I just need money to buy a binder, since my chest is big =/ Also, I will go to a doctor to see if I can use medications to stop my period and I will talk about those FtM things with my therapist tomorrow (she doesn't know that I'm trans yet), but I can't take testosterone, since I'm not old enought to that Things are going very well, I'm so excited!!
