Hi there: I am a 37yr old female and I have known that there is something different about me from most of my friends and family. I have known since i was about 12yrs old. But I have been scared to come out to anyone. I have asked different questions to my best friend. But haven't come out and said that I am a lesbian. I wish I could get up enough courage to tell at least my best friend. I have always enjoyed looking at females ever since I was young but never let on that I had an interest...especially around or too my family. I live in a city that doesn't take the alternative lifestyle very well. Most places it is shunned here. Unless you know the right crowd. Please if anyone can help me it would be greatly appreciated.. thanks
The first person is always the toughest. I highly recommend saying "I'm gay" or "I'm a lesbian" in the shower. You will feel ridiculous, but the more you do it, the more confident you will feel. I told my first person over the phone, and that helped me out significantly more, because it wasn't face to face. I also suggest you watch Ellen Degeneres, so you can see a successful lesbian. Or maybe just to make you laugh. You just have to take five minutes of crazy bravery, and tell someone. Choose them carefully, because the right person will stand by you when you tell other people.
Well i think my best friend kind of knows but I am still unsure that is why I am scared to say anything. But I have written her a letter asking some advice. Don't know how she will take it but i had to talk to someone... I do want to open up to someone and tell them and i trust her more then anyone else I know that is why I want to have her be the first to know.
i know i posted this elsewhere on EC but here is my story. I am older than you, 54 male. I am now coming out as well. You will need to take baby steps to come out - At least, that is what I am doing. I started saying I was straight,this was a lie, I have known I was gay since 7th grade. I then progressed to that I am gay curious, closer to the truth but still a lie. Then eventually to I am Gay! Once you can look yourself in the mirror and state that you are gay you are making progress. Most of my straight friends are ultra conservative mainline denomination protestants. I cannot come out to these friends. I will not be judged on my terms. If they do not like me - that is okay. If I tell them my orientation, that gives them permission to hate me for being different. I have come out to a few people. One was a friends I had a crush on years ago. This was the easy part. I lost my dad three years ago , my sis seven years ago. I cannot come out although they might have known. Mother has a form of dementia, if I did tell her she would not understand. I have contacted two churches, maybe three if I am actually honest. The first one was Agape MCC (Metropolitan Community Church ) in Fort Worth. The second one was Cathedral of Hope in Dallas. And finally, I located a friend of mine that was at my United Methodist Church. When he was with us, he was a youth pastor. He has resigned his position in the UMC due to the bigoted stance of the church. He is now interim pastor for Cathedral of Hope in Bedford. The Bedford church does not know I am out. However, he may assume it. I did tell him that I did not like the bigoted ideals of the United Methodist Church (UMC). He believes, like I do, that God made everyone with value regardless. This includes the LGBT community. He said it is a small, but progressive community and come visit. This may be a good place for you to go too. Find a LGBT church. Tomorrow I will talk to a LGBT pastor about my confusion with the UMC theology/dogma regarding homosexuality. Another option is to volunteer at a local community center. For example, AIDS Outreach center, or AIDS Interfaith. These may go by other names in your community.. I hope this helps
Hey I came out a in my mid 20's and I too found it really tough, I told my first person in a message and I think that really helped me. The way I made myself do it was I sent my friend a message saying will you be on MSN later as I want to talk to you about something and so then when we were on MSN she prompted me by asking what it was I wanted to talk about which made me then say it, I also came out to one of my other friends by letter which I also think is a good thing as you can write down exactly what you want to say beforehand.
My best friend and I finally talked tonight. She said she will support me in anyway she can. She said all she wants to see me is to be happy. She is glad that I am seeing someone and that she makes me happy. I am glad that I was able to talk to my friend today it did lift a very big weight off of my shoulders. I am not as scared now that I was able to talk to her, I still have a few more people that I want to tell but I am going to wait for awhile before telling them. I think the biggest reason I was scared was I just didn't know how to start the conversation. Well it actually ended up that I didn't start the conversation. She asked me a few questions I answered them and then we just sat and talked for awhile. I felt comfortable being able to finally confide in her.
I actually did all of this, and it was soooo helpful in my own coming out/acceptance process. Best of luck to you-you'll be in my thoughts! =)(*hug*)
I have now told roughly a 1/2 dozen close friends now that I am gay. And its really as I think I said in my last post it has actually lifted a big weight off of my chest and I am actually more at ease now... It's going to take awhile before I tell my family......well that's if I tell my family I am not sure if that is something I am willing to do. I don't know how they would react.
I actually realized I was gay while I was sitting down in the shower! (!) Funny this advice was brought up. So yea I came out to myself in the shower. The shower is my meditative place, a lot has been learned from there!
